You're Hot Then You're Cold ...

I had a rollercoaster weekend, ranging from one extreme to the next, yet every rise and fall with The Voice only makes my feelings toward him that much stronger. I'd be naive to assume you can have an absolutely harmonious relationship. Life isn't a movie, a novel or a television show. Consequently, the more realistic our relationship is, the stronger we become.

Saturday: I arrived at The Voice's apartment per our usual arrangement. I was extremely tired because I had jury that afternoon (a prerequisite for all music majors in which we are obligated to play in front of several department faculty members and receive ratings for our performance) and then proceeded directly to work. We cuddled for a short while but eventually exhaustion overtook us. That morning, we headed to the barbershop and then stopped by my church so I could sit in on choir rehearsal. Several of my former choir members attended my jazz concert on Tuesday, so I wanted to thank them for their support. Furthermore, it gave me a chance to introduce The Voice to another facet of my life.

However, things didn't go smoothly. I noticed he was extraordinarily quiet most of the morning. Usually outspoken at the barbershop, he was demurred and silent. Upon our arrival at church, he was cordial but still subdued. Following rehearsal, we made a brief stop by my house to fill up my coolant tank. The Voice became animated for a short while, allowing my mom to speak with his mom via phone and even hung some candy canes on our Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, he reverted to his silent status after our departure. We patronized a restaurant in Roslindale named Delfino's which caters to a yuppie-type crowd. The cuisine is mainly Italian and the prices are fairly reasonable. However, I was unable to enjoy the meal because he was especially quiet throughout dinner.

At this point, I had just about enough!

As we departed the restaurant, I questioned him as to what was on his mind but he continued to brush me off as he previously done throughout the day. At this point, I was incredibly aggravated and cancelled our cinema plans. I decided to confront him point blank.

He remarked that he overheard my morning phone conversation in which I supposedly said,

"I'll be glad to have this break from him ..."

Now I know you guys only have my side of the story here however, I contend that was never said. Moreover, how could I say this when I used the infamous L word last week? Does that sound like a man who wants or needs time and space away from his boyfriend?

We went back and forth in the car, stressing our opinions and I continuously defended my words. Eventually the argument became pointless and futile. It was a draw. Too weary to continue, I told him to come to me with anything, anything that bothers him immediately; don't hold it in all day.

We eventually made up that night (hehe!) and watched The Family Stone on DVD (it's one of my favorite holiday movies of all time! If you haven't seen it, go rent it!)

Sunday: We lazed most of the morning in bed enjoying our own personal concert. We lay in bed, sharing the headphones and listening to songs on our MP3 players. As we each selected songs, we caressed our deep brown skin, enjoying the sensation, the lack of words between us and the beautiful music. Needless to say, we ended the concert on "The Way" by Jill Scott!

We spent the rest of the day shopping (well he did most of the shopping while I ran my mouth on the phone), a trip to Qdoba's and stopped by both J-Dub's house as well as my house. That night, The Voice got his locks twisted by his roommate (Lil' Hustla) and we all sat around watching Wanted (ugh! … see June post titled Wanted: Lazy Weekend for my opinion on that movie!).

While the weekend wasn't a total washout, we learned more about each other, our likes, dislikes, our attitudes, our limits and our expectations. This coming weekend, we are taking J-Dub's daughters to the Build-A-Bear Workshop and to see The Grinch Musical. We also have a Christmas party to attend on Sunday and I'm introducing Crazy to The Voice (that should be interesting!) There won't be much time spent together this and coming weekends as he is flying out for business just before New Years.

I hope everyone had enjoyable weekends and stayed warm, dry and got their Christmas shopping done! Only one more week! Have a great week!

Editor’s Note: This post was initially drafted two weeks ago.