My Addiction

Happy (Rainy) Monday morning everyone ... it's been a quick minute since I've posted and most of that I blame on school but the rest on The Voice (LOL!). I think the video below sums up the past two weeks with him.

Nevertheless, I have a LOT I need to get off my chest. Everything from my school/work update, my workout update, my television updates (Desperate Housewives, ER, SVU, etc.) as well as needing some advice on The Voice. So hopefully I'll have a good post or two up this week. Have a great week everyone!

Ryan Leslie (Feat. Cassie & Fabolous) - Addiction [ver.2]
Uploaded by BlackAndree

I Wish A MoFo Would!

This is specifically for The Voice ... an oldie but a goodie!

... Just a few more days baby ...

Certified Honest Blogger

I'm an honest blogger! Never had a doubt in my mind since I've always kept everything here absolutely, 100% true.

So big thanks to Young, Black and DL for the recognition!

When I began this blog, I was innocent, pure, uncorrupted. After several book review posts, I was contacted by L.M. Ross and Frederick Smith. Initially, I was deeply concerned because I had written some "not-so-nice" things in reference to their novels and was worried that I had offended them. Consequently, I learned that I had to remain true to myself and write from my heart and soul.

As The Voice would say, "Life's too short to be worried about what other people think."

After that, there's nothing else to add. So here are the rules:

1.) When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

2.) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

3.) Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were nominated as an 'Honest Weblog.'

4.) Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you gave the prize (optional).

5.) And then pass it on!

Now I've seen other bloggers with this award, and some I have included an additional 6th rule ...

6.) Write 10 honest things about yourself (optional).

Okay, my obvious top choice for honest blogging is Young, Black and DL (Young, Black, and Downlow) since he's consistently keeping it real. His stories / adventures are highly interesting and snap me out of my reality for a little while. While I don't always agree with his ways, I respect him for his honesty.

My choices for bloggers who have brilliant content and design (and honesty) are as follows:

• Fuzzy (I wonder ...)
• shawnqt (//dreams in a fitted//)
• Cash S (Finally Seeing G)
• deonte'k (Deonte' K's Spot)
• Xem VanAdams-Lumumba (*Emerald Eye Entertainment*)
• KR (BPS 2.0)

While Young, Black and DL didn't do the 10 honest things about himself, I am going to step out on the runway and strut my stuff!

1. I am extremely introverted and self-conscious (click here for more).
2. I'm a crossword fanatic (surprised I didn't get fired from work after all the puzzles I did).
3. I actually want to visit Ireland some day (yeah, I know, black people don't usually say that!)
4. Since Young, Black and DL blew up my spot, I was celibate for over three years (obviously, not anymore).
5. I'm a huge mythology buff and even crafted a make-believe television series (e.g. Buffy, Angel, Charmed) during my free-time.
6. I can be massively arrogant from time to time.
7. I occasionally find some women sexually attractive even though I consider myself SGL and haven't dated a woman since 2001.
8. I hardly ever finish anything I start (MANY unfinished projects lying around the house!)
9. I'm a major procrastinator.
10. As much love as I have for my people(s), I sometimes get embarrassed by black (and SGL) people.

Damn, that was hard! I really had to dig deep and let me tell you, being honest with yourself isn't the easiest thing in the world. There are things you really don't want to admit and other things you would rather not share with the world but I had to remember that's what my blog is about: becoming beautifully human.

The End Is Near

This semester is moving along quite swiftly and believe me, I'm counting the semesters, months, days, hours, seconds until I can get my degree and BOUNCE!

For those individuals living under a rock, I left my cushy five year plus office job (with benefits) to attend school full-time. Many of the courses I require for my major are only offered during the day so I had to make a difficult decision.

Obviously I chose school.

This semester, I'm taking Ear Training / Sightsinging I and Music Theory I as well as participating in Jazz Band. I’m also taking private lessons. My private instructor, Professor Hand Killer, allowed me to skip Keyboard I (she teaches that course) due to my advanced skills (DUH! I mean, like, I've only, like, been playing the piano, like, for over, like, twenty years!) I also wish I had skipped Theory I and Ear Training I since I know a lot of the material and thus far, I’m finding it WAY to easy. While it's too late to drop it, I'm utilizing it as a refresher course and I'm sure I'll get an easy A out of this.

The Jazz Band is another story. All music majors are required to take six semesters of performance ensemble and since the other options were Chamber Singing or Chorus -- well, you get the idea. The course isn't as easy as I thought. The professor has me learning some really difficult piece (click here) which he wants me to play at the beginning of EVERY class! (sigh) However, I'm making friends fast and it'll be fun to play alongside horns as well as talented singers and musicians. Our final performance is in early December and since my jazz skills are crap, I've got to bust my a** like never before!

The Haydn piece, Piano Sonata in E minor, H.XVI, Opus 34, 1st movement, (click here: first three minutes are what I have to learn) that I'm performing for the jury at the end of the semester is also coming along really well! I’ve finished learning it and my fingers are swollen from all the hard practicing I've put in. I'm extremely determined to get higher marks this semester.

Being on campus during the day is exceedingly overwhelming. I have been at UMass for over a year, however I took courses through the Continuing Education Department so many of the classes were at night, on weekends or off-campus. Furthermore, I had many older students so the atmosphere was more mature. Unfortunately, the courses I'm enrolled in this semester are populated with freshmen and sophomores and many younger students. I feel as if I'm in my first year of college again; many of the students are running their mouths, joking around and asking obnoxious questions. I miss the previous semesters but I can't dwell on that: I have to remain focused.

The good news ... I did the calculations and it seems I may be eligible for a spring of 2010 commencement. After this semester, I'll have over 80 credits and you need 120 to graduate. If I attend full-time during every semester, I'll be done quickly! There are a few variables that I'm still not certain about. Nevertheless, I'm about 90% sure I can be finished by 2010, give or take an extra semester. I really want to walk the stage. I know my family would be proud to see me walk so I'm working exceptionally hard to finish by 2010.

I'm still not sure what I want to do after graduation. Even before I met The Voice, I had considered graduate school. A few of my friends either have their masters or are considering getting it. However, I'm not 100% sure what I want to do in the music industry. I have considered working in A&R or marketing and even flirted with the idea of being a teacher. Nevertheless, I know that possessing a higher degree looks better and hopefully opens more doors. Still, I can't go jumping that broom yet. I must continue my focus on getting the BA first and then we'll talk!

Movie Night

So did everyone enjoy their weekend? (yeah, I know, I’m late!)

I relaxed a bit and (of course) got to know The Voice better ...

Friday: I went out with a few friends while The Voice went out to a club/party with his friends. It was nice to hang since I don't want to neglect my good friends, plus I needed a break from The Voice. We went to the Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday night and I gave him a ride home on Thursday night. After I got home, I worked on a song (while tipsy) I wrote several years ago titled September Love and got a few more lines written. I reckon I'll be 82 years old by the time I finish composing this song!

Saturday: I had the laziest morning possible. Spent the afternoon / evening with The Voice at the gym (see previous post). Oh yeah, I got my first ever parking ticket! Damn! I know I'm experiencing a lot of "firsts" with The Voice but c'mon, I wasn't hoping that would be one of them.

We decided to have movie night at his crib so ordered food from Texas Roadhouse (he was feening for some more catfish!) and then went to Blockbuster. We rented The Lost Boys: The Tribe, Meet The Browns, First Sunday and Vantage Point. Needless to say, The Voice slept through most of them (mmmm-hmmmmm!). We swooped up our food, then bedded down for the night. His roommates were out so we had the place to our self. We watched the movies while we chowed down and let me tell you, after an eight mile run, that steak was food sent from heaven!

First Sunday: Didn't care for it, wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. It had a nifty message but was still corny as hell. I'm also not a Tracy Morgan fan and Katt Williams was beginning to annoy me!

Vantage Point: LOVED IT! I got sucked right into it and had my eyes glued to the TV until the end! The Voice? Slept through it.

The Lost Boys: The Tribe: I'm not a fan of horror flicks but I make the exception for vampire movies (I’ve seen all the great ones) so we watched half later that night and then the rest the next morning. I'm ambivalent about this one. I thought the vamp make up towards the end was a blatant rip-off from Angel and Buffy (I'm a hardcore fan) and the storyline was very uninspiring. It was like spring break with vamps. In essence, thongs, boobs and fangs.

I haven't seen Meet The Browns so I'll probably check it out then next time I'm over his place.

Sunday: We lay in bed most of the morning talking about all sorts of stuff until I had to leave for my second job. When I returned, The Voice was in the process of dressing for the arts festival we were going to attend. However, we ran late and truthfully didn't feel up to it. So we lay in bed (again) watching Primeval and True Blood while enjoying our remaining time together.

Later that evening, my family and I went to Smokey Bones to celebrate both my Pop's birthday and mine (the same day). Once again, I stepped out my element and ordered baby back ribs and enjoyed each and every one! On the way back, I stopped by The Voice's place to pick up something I had left and then stayed up chatting with Java-Mama until 1 AM.

Monday: Dragging, dragging, dragging! I hope Tuesday is better (it was). Had a pop quiz (ugh!) and while I got an A on the test from Friday, I wasn't prepared for this one. I need to buckle down more (I'll talk about school more in another post). Moreover, I start a campus job / work study next week so I know I'm going to really feel it!

Have a great week everyone!

K.C.'s Workout Plan (Pt. 7)

My weight loss is proceeding quite nicely and I'm happy to report I'm hovering around 195 (on a good day!) It's definitely not an easy goal to achieve but I'm working at it slowly. Nevertheless, since returning to school, I'm finding it harder and harder to maintain a well-balanced diet. I don't like cafeteria food (haven't eaten it since high school) so I make my own lunches or go to Subway.

Furthermore, I attained a rather sweet milestone this past weekend! Saturday evening, The Voice and I went to the Seaport Hotel's corporate fitness center at the Waterfront. First of all, I'm not sure I even want to go back to Bally's after going there! The locker room looked like some fancy hotel room or designer closet with wooden cabinet style lockers, mag-locks, carpeting, mirrors and other amenities. The showers featured shampoo and conditioner and every client received a complementary towel. And the treadmills? I actually had my own television!

Maaan, a brotha could get used to that real fast!

Okay, back to the milestone. The Voice is a more seasoned runner as he has participated in the Boston Marathon and as well as shorter races throughout the New England area. I didn't want to compete with him but somehow I ended up running for an hour and half and averaged about eight and a half miles! Normally, I can maintain five miles but his presence (and my slightly competitive nature) drove me further than ever before! Trust, my sore leg muscles are my own personal testament to how hard I pushed!

Anyway, I'll let you guys know where I stand by the time I go back to the nutritionist in a few weeks ... keep your fingers crossed for me!

My Birthday (Part 3)

At 1 AM, I hopped in my car and cruised around. I called a friend and vented and he gave me some really good advice. You see, I'm not an outgoing person and I was concerned The Voice got the wrong impression after the party last weekend. The Voice called me a few times concerned and I returned around 2 AM after everyone was gone. I didn't want to bring up my "baggage" but he was insistent that I tell him what was going on.

I confessed and he reassured me that he likes me the way I am, whether I'm outgoing or not (duh! obviously he does or else he wouldn’t still be chilling with me!) He held my face in his hands and told me that I need to stop worrying about every little thing, stop analyzing everything and simply live in the moment. He emphasized self reliance and plain, simple fun.

"You're not the only one out there with issues and insecurities," he reassured me.

We lay on the bed and as he held me, he recited one of his poems, which assisted in lifting my spirits. Needless to say, he worked his thing too well and this led to other "things." Consequently, I promised him I wouldn't just up and leave like that again.

While I was profoundly disappointed in my actions, I discovered that The Voice is a communicative person, willing to work through an issue. The fact that he's still interested in me after my little stunt says a lot about his character (and patience). Most guys would have said "peace out, yo!" Still, I'm slightly intimidated by his social skills. As I stated in a post back in June (click here), I'm extremely shy, quiet and introverted. I'm not as adaptable as he is with any situation but I can hold my own.

Furthermore, he owes no allegiance to anyone but himself and I'm in awe of his free spirit and independence. Conversely, I've forgotten how to have fun. I used to just roll with the flow but the years have made me bitter, serious and cynical. I find myself overly conservative when it comes to just letting loose. Perhaps The Voice and I are beneficial for each other. His personality is presently affecting me, inducing me to step out of my routine and while I don't want to change him, who knows? Maybe he's getting something from me ...

Well let me wrap this three part series up. I awoke early Sunday morning and put my church suit on. I kissed him goodbye and drove out to Framingham for church. I arrived prematurely so I waited in the parking lot, observing the squirrels and birds in an adjacent field.

Suddenly, I decided to have a chat with God. It had been a quick minute (major religious issues here) however, I felt I needed to thank Him for bringing The Voice into my life. I was fairly ashamed by my actions from the previous night. Essentially, I've moaned and groaned over the past several years about how I wanted a boyfriend. I'm finally dating someone who has most of his s*** together, is in school working on his masters, not afraid to show affection in public, has a real job, likes me the way I am (LOL weird indeed!), has a variety of interests, and has his own place (my checklist was nearly complete) ... and what did I do? I found negative flaws and whined like some unappreciative b****. I checked myself accordingly and thanked Him for listening and watching over me and allowing us to be in each other’s lives.

I returned to The Voice’s apartment and found him watching the movie, Enchanted. He was too cute laying there in bed watching a Disney movie, especially after all the bravado and masculinity he exuded the night before. I love it when a guy can tap into their childhood and yet remain mature. Many people define sexy in relation to the body or sexual acts but I'm a fanatic of the intellectual. In my opinion, sexy is the way he taps into his feminine and childhood sides and is still the man in charge, the way he expresses himself lyrically and socially, the way he sleeps, the way he breathes, the way he lives life with love.

That is sexy to me.

He spent Sunday doing laundry and I brought him back to his place and we chilled for a bit. I apologized to his roommates for bouncing the night before (I didn't want to offend them, especially if I'm going to be coming around often) and then we watched some of the VMA's as he drifted off to sleep.

I can't wait until the next time I see him (UPDATE: we’ve chilled several times this week including dinner at the Cheesecake Factory). This past weekend was one of the best birthdays I've EVER had and I can't thank him enough for coming into my life. Whether we end up as friends or more, I'm glad I met The Voice and he's fast become the rock I need during this unstable time in my life. Consequently, I'm hooked and want to learn more about him. I enjoy our vibe and the way he makes me re-examine my soul, my mind, my heart and my life when I'm around him. I have two left feet when it comes to dating (I know I’m not the only one out there!) so I'm moving as slowly and deliberately as possible ...

"Let's see what's out there ... engage!" - Captain Jean-Luc Picard (ST:TNG)

My Birthday (Part 2)

We dined at Texas Roadhouse and after several drinks, The Voice was feeling positively mellow. He buddied up with the waiter which resulted in a conversation about horror movies and psychics.

Don't ask.

He also ran into a former colleague and her boyfriend and we chatted it up for a few.

As we left the restaurant, it began to rain and we had no umbrella. Not a smart idea when you have the remnants of a tropical storm moving into the area. We dashed for the car and dried off as we drove to the gas station, where he even paid for my gas! Talk about the royal treatment on my special day!

So the big event for the evening was (drum roll please! rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat ... ) Cirque Du Soleil! The Voice bought tickets and this was my birthday surprise! My mind was blown! Once again, no one (no one, no one!, sorry got caught up in the song) had EVER done that for me! I'm usually buying concert tickets or suggesting events to attend among my social circle. It was exceedingly refreshing to be treated for once!

We waited in the concession tent as the rain began to pour. I shopped at the gift stations and he bought popcorn and water of which he excessively grumbled about the expensive prices to the cashier.

"Hmm, Strike One!"

Digress with me.

I was reading an astrological relationship compatibility website the other day which stated that Libras and Virgos (The Voice and me respectively) are a mis-matched pairing. Libras are social and outgoing while Virgos are restrained, conservative and exceptionally observant. Furthermore, the site listed ways to impress and lose points with Virgos. The top way to lose points? "Acting loud, vulgar, or rude in public."

The Voice has a ghetto side to him and while I obviously find it attractive, I sometimes perceive it to be a facade. He can be profoundly proper and corporate such as when he struck up a conversation with the lady next to us at the show or with the waiter. However, he was all up in sistah girl's face at the concession stand and I was sightly embarrassed.

Moreover, I became annoyed when he wanted to talk about "certain topics" while we waited to enter the circus. I was raised to take pride in myself and whenever I walk out the house, I never forget that I'm representing more than just myself. I'm the living legacy of my people. I believe in good first impressions even amongst strangers and I instantly recognized this as the first significant difference between our signs. Consequently, I believe things that occur in the bedroom should remain private and didn't necessarily want strangers who were seated around us in close quarters hearing all our business.

So do you guys think I’m being too prudish?

Digression over ...

The show was very thrilling and our seats were perfect! Some of the performers/clowns were mingling around in the audience prior to the show and they even made examples of late-arrivals! The costumes were dazzling and absolutely fabulous! The choreography was impeccable, even when a few pesky raindrops leaked through the tent onto the stage. The storyline was imaginative and made me feel like a kid again! I gazed in wonder at the jugglers, the contortionists, the trapeze artists, the highwire act, tower of chair balancing act and other acrobatic feats that had me gripping The Voice's leg in terror! No worries, he was doing the same too! The ringmaster was hilarious and even picked a few audience volunteers to keep us entertained between sets.

During intermission, he asked, "Do you like your birthday gift, baby?"

"I love it!" I responded and then we kissed.

Yeah, I'm getting the hang of this public display of affection pretty damn quick!

We ran through the rain to the car and it took nearly a half hour to get out of the parking lot. The wind was howling and the fury of the storm was very evident. As we inched our way out of the lot we held hands and stole kisses. We opted out of heading to a club in Back Bay because of the weather and headed back to his place. I was terribly exhausted but was in for a rude surprise when I walked into his apartment.

"Damn ... Strike Two!"

His roommates had a few friends over and they were completely drunk and trashed. I socialized (if you can call it that) for a while but wasn't really in the mood. I wanted to "cuddle" with my boy and instead I got a mini-frat party. Talk about heated. The Voice took a few shots and blended right in with the crowd. So I did what I always do when I'm ticked.

"Slowly, surely, I walk away from" - Jill Scott

I went out to my car and left.

(Sorry guys, I’m slow with these posts but this semester is really kicking my butt! Trying to find time to write stuff and edit so please just bear with a brotha ...)

My Birthday (Part 1)

My birthday was this past Saturday and even the remnants of a hurricane couldn't ruin the most special b-day I've had in a while! To sum up my day in one word, I'd plainly have to say: "divinely dee-licious!"

I spent most of my weekend with The Voice.

I picked him up Friday evening from a nearby friend's house and then we both chilled at his apartment. I met his roommates and was thoroughly impressed! They are a straight couple and so sweet together; they made me feel incredibly welcome. Truthfully, I preferred having the place to ourselves last weekend but even with them around, they were cool and didn’t bother us.

The next day, The Voice entered the Ollie Road Race in South Boston/The Waterfront, a five-mile run to benefit the South Boston Neighborhood House. I got up extremely early, showered and walked to the subway station. By the way, this was my first time on the Silver Line. Essentially it was just a cheap imitation of a real subway line but whatever, it was pretty nice. I arrived at the Bank of America Pavilion and immediately spotted him warming up. He introduced me to a few of his co-workers who instantly took a liking to me. They were doing the two mile walk and after some friendly prodding, I signed up and joined them on the walk.

The ladies asked the "usual suspect" questions (job, school, fun, etc.) and as I found out later, I was stamped "APPROVED!" and ready for packaging. The walk was a great deal of fun however, I was disappointed that the walkers were on the same track as the runners because as the lead runners returned, they nearly knocked this poor old lady walker over and then proceeded to almost get in a fight with her! Profoundly upsetting! Everyone was out there to raise money for a good cause and have fun and yet s*** like that still happened.

I made it back in 30 minutes and waited for The Voice who timed in at about 43 or 44 minutes! He was sweaty and dripping everywhere but I didn't care. I gave him a hug and told him I was exceedingly proud of him and couldn’t wait to see him do his thing in the half-marathon next month. We split after a while and met up with another friend who gave us a ride back to my neighborhood. I felt a bit awkward because I'm not used to "bumming" rides from anyone. He let us off at my barbershop (The Voice goes to the same barbershop! Pretty surreal, eh?) and I went home to relax.

A few hours later, I picked him up from his place and he was rocking it with his black knit dread cap, slim grey jeans, black dress shoes and tight belt buckle under the black polo shirt. As James Earl Hardy would say, he looked "jood!" We jetted over to Texas Roadhouse and he called ahead while we journeyed.

"He's efficient and makes himself useful!" I thought as we cruised down Route 16.

Now children, pay attention because this was my favorite part of my day! As we stood there, waiting to be seated (only a minute wait), he suddenly spun on his heel and turned to face me. He slipped his hand around the small of my back, his fingers gripping me tight and quickly pulled me toward him and kissed me! And no, not some peck on the cheek. I'm talking tongue action people! My heart swooned and froze.

"What are people thinking?" "Is someone going to say something?" "Oh my God! I can't believe he's really doing this right here, right now!" "Damn, that feels real good!"

A million thoughts raced through my head but after he pulled away, I was thoughtless and breathless.

He asked, "Did you like that?" I simply nodded in response.

That is a memory I will never forget. Why? I have always wanted to date someone who is overwhelmingly comfortable with their sexuality and bold enough to evince public displays of affection (PDA). As Alicia Keys would say, "no one, no one, no one!" has EVER, EVER done that! In the past, I've snuck kisses in public or held hands but usually when no one was around or in a secluded area. If someone happened to pass by, I broke it off. Nevertheless, I had to come back to earth because "Red Bull The Voice gives you wings!" and I was soaring somewhere between the stratospheres of infatuation and sprung.

"I don't care what anyone thinks!" he explained later, "I like you and we should have a right to display our feelings just like everyone else does ... I wish someone would say something ... !"

I've always been comfortable with my orientation but never had the opportunity to explore PDA's with any of my past romantic partners; they merely weren't mature emotionally. However, The Voice, who hasn't ceased to amaze me this past week and a half, is unlike anyone I've encountered or dated before.

But the night wasn't over yet and things were about to get a little more interesting.

Reading Corner: Right Side Of The Wrong Bed

For the past two weeks, I've been reading Right Side Of The Wrong Bed by Frederick Smith. Initially, it's been a struggle since my departure from work to maintain my regular reading habits. Nevertheless, I managed to journey through this novel and came away with a greater appreciation for generational differences in a romantic relationship.

This novel is not a continuation of Down For Whatever, Smith’s first novel. Rather, we are introduced to Kenneth Kane, a successful thirty-something college administrator, who has a seemingly Cosby-perfect life with his firefighter boyfriend, DaVon. Unfortunately, as Chinua Achebe would say, "things fall apart" and Kenny finds himself hopelessly single and constantly barraged with child paternity suits courtesy of DaVon's fence hopping ways.

However, Jeremy Lopez slips into Kenny's life "as smoothly as the rum going into his second mojito." A twenty-one year old Daddy Yankee clone from East L.A. who has more issues than Erykah Badu's "bag lady." Eventually, Kenny attends wild parties and clubs with Jeremy and feels completely young at heart. Nonetheless, reality sets in and Kenny must make some serious decisions that could lead to even more unpleasant consequences. As the book's synopsis states, "will Kenny wake up feeling like he's on the right side of the wrong bed?"

Before I get into my review, I thoroughly enjoyed Down For Whatever and even recommended it to The Divo who read it while on vacation in L.A. last year. That's quite amazing because The Divo is all about having fun and yet the book captured his attention more than his vacation! Go figure! Anyway, I digress.

In Right Side Of The Wrong Bed, I found myself frustrated from the start due to two major issues. The first issue concerned "dangling statements" that Smith seeded from cover to cover. An example would read:

"'How you been?' DaVon said, half looking at me, half looking over my shoulder at the crowd around us. Needed to keep that wandering eye still, with his wife and kid at home, and countless others ..." (page 11)

It was probably just my anal-retentive personality when it came to that. I'm not a huge grammar fiend and I'm usually pretty laid back when it comes to fiction because the author is expressing him/herself in whatever way they see fit. Conversely, these sentences effortlessly continued the flow. In essence, Smith writes how an individual thinks so I give him props for the realism.

The other me-issue was the naivety of Kenny. While I was ecstatic to see an African-American SGL middle-class professional portrayed extremely well, I was also upset that he was getting caught up in some of Jeremy's schemes. However, a friend of mine pointed out, "that is precisely how the author wanted you to feel!" Again, kudos, Mr. Smith. Furthermore, the naivete upset me because I was recently seeing an eighteen year old and I related especially well to the questions and confusion that Kenny was experiencing. Consequently, I was perceiving myself in the mirror and as we all know, the truth is hardly flattering.

Okay, let's see, some other highlights. The storyline was simply delicious! However, I can't give anything away so read it and trust, you'll like! Momma Kane, whew, "Lawd have mercy!"

I need a minute here!

One more minute ...

Okay, I’m good!

I love Momma Kane! Did you all hear me? I LOVE HER! If this novel were a movie, I see Jennifer Lewis all up and through that role! Momma Kane was right on point!

Overall, the book was put together exceedingly well and was positively convincing. Smith definitely had me reading extra chapters even after my lunch break ended! Unfortunately, Smith's ending wasn't tremendously credible. It was profoundly rushed and could have been expounded upon for a few more chapters. The last chapter lacked closure and this conclusion was worse than the first novel’s denouement. Still, I’m hoping to read more books from Frederick Smith and I clearly see tremendous growth since his first novel! So check out Down For Whatever and Right Side Of The Wrong Bed and support this talented author!

This week, I began reading In Love With A Thug by Reginald L. Hall. I know one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but I had serious doubts even before I bought it. Nevertheless, I have a thug addiction (don't we all?) so I'm going to satiate my curiosity. I'll let you guys know in a week or two (free-time pending) what my thoughts are on Mr. Hall.

I'm Gonna Party Like It's My Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to wonderful, awesome, beautiful, talented, sexy, crazy, happy, sweet, lovable, nice K.C. (whew!)

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!

... AND WHAT?! Yeah, I know, I'm conceited but it's 9:51 AM on Sept. 6th and I can do whatever the f*** I want cuz it's MY DAY!!!! :o)

I Will Cut You!

Feeling a bit ghetto this morning ...

Happy Friday and have a great weekend everyone!

Come Back To The World (Part 2)

I want somebody to walk up behind me

And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

I want somebody to walk up behind me

And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

If you want to feel me

Better be divine

Bring me water, water for my mind

Give me nothin

Breathe love in my air

Don't abuse me

Cause these herbs are rare

(Erykah Badu - Kiss Me On My Neck [Hesi], Mama’s Gun)

Darkness. Then came The Light.

I felt his body upon mine. His hands roamed freely and affectionately as we succumbed to the intoxication of lust.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

I awoke the next morning, my head throbbing intensely as I slowly realized my surroundings. I stumbled upstairs and found the party guests stirring. I emerged on the deck and joined the others for breakfast and a few mimosas. As I downed my drink, he asked me if I was interested in checking out a poetry slam that night.

"That's wassup!" I replied.

I drove home in silence, allowing the radio to summarize my feelings and crawled into bed to recover from my heathenly hangover and drifted off, smiling slightly in disbelief at the wild night I had.

That night, I picked him up (it turns out he only lived in the next city over, merely two blocks from the beach!) around seven o’clock.

"What in the world are you doing? You don't even know this guy!" I thought, as I pulled up to his house. "It was just a crazy stupid party where you acted a damn fool! Forget him and get back to reality!"

But something was urging me, compelling me, driving and guiding me to ring that bell. He let me up. His roommates were away.

"Nice place!"

"Thanks ... sorry, I'm running late. I'm pretty slow getting ready. I didn't think you'd get here so quickly. Most everyone has trouble finding my place!"

"I always find what I really want!"

I gazed at the tattoos on his back while he dressed. A mere 12 hours earlier, I had explored his slim body but now I was able to really check the bubble him out. His room was small but definitely well furnished. He threw on a tight tee and some skinny jeans and we were ready to bounce.

"Hmm, at least he's got style in the bedroom and on the street."

After a stop at Male #3's house, we finally arrived at the Lizard Lounge in Cambridge. Unfortunately, he was too late to sign up for the slam so we ordered drinks and kicked back and watched the poets. Hold up. Rewind. Brotha paid for my cover charge and a round of drinks.

"Now that's wassup!"

We sat in the dimly lit lounge, candle sconces casting a soft glow on the bohemian scene. The poets rapped, came hard with the knowledge and before long, we were cheering and yelling out in support of our favorites. I had never been to a slam before so I was thoroughly impressed! Later that evening, the featured poet emerged with a backup four piece band as my cousin and the Late Lesbo Crew (LLC) finally rolled through. We crowded around the table, reminiscing about the party and as the poet journeyed through her mind, I journeyed through his soul.

The brotha talked about his love of poetry, his Caribbean ancestry, his graduate studies, his frat, his achievements (he ran the Boston Marathon this year! I'm super jealous!), our past loves, our future plans and as the music played, so did my hand on his leg.

The LLC decided they weren't feeling the poet so we ventured outside, hopped in our cars and the brotha and I followed them to Kelly's on the beach. As we flew through the streets of Somerville, Cambridge and Revere, he recited his poetry, his art. No one had ever done that before and I glimpsed the immense depth of his passion for his craft.

After Kelly's, we ditched the LLC and returned to his place. I yielded to temptation. We slid into his room and instantly I was at ease. I borrowed his lounge pants and shirt and a du-rag and before long we were lying in bed watching horror movies and making out.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

The next morning, we lay in bed, trying to get to know each other better. He recited more of his poetry with Lauryn Hill's The Sweetest Thing playing in the background on his laptop. We talked about our ex's and he admitted his reluctance to enter a relationship but admitted he was feeling me in a myriad of ways.

Parting really is sweet sorrow but I returned later that afternoon and left a bouquet of multi-colored Anastasia chrysanthemums and a card to thank him for the wonderful evening.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

I'm truly feeling this brotha and after the immature guys I've dated the past few months, he is definitely a breath of fresh air. While there are a few things I've omitted from the story, I tried my best to capture his essence and spirit. He's spontaneous, outgoing, educated and has a purity about his soul that words fail to capture. I'm not sprung but I'm getting close to it. School is my anchor but as I discover more about this brotha, I'm glad I attended that party.

"Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" - Sam Witwicky (Transformers)

I confess that most of the men I've dated I originally met online so connecting and socializing with someone while at a party was the confidence booster I needed. He's already planned several dates (we're headed back to the slam championship contest in a few weeks) and he's got something planned for my b-day this weekend.

In closing, one of the poets at the contest stressed "live in the now." I'm not going to become Joan Clayton and obsess over whether this is the "one" or not. I'm not going to worry about what my family or friends think, but live for me and enjoy this moment, wherever it may take me. There is an attraction and I want to explore it further. I can't dwell on tomorrow or fret over my past decisions. Right now, all I want to do is exist in the now time signature.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

Gentleman, I formally present ... The Voice

Come Back To The World (Part 1)

Hey Mr. Carter (Mr. Carter)
Tell me where you been (where you been)
They been asking, they been searching,
They been wondering why

(Lil' Wayne feat. Jay-Z - Mr. Carter, Tha Carter III)

"Haha, you know, I been around the world!" Nah, for real, it's been a crazy, awesome, insane and WICKED week! I took a hiatus from life and I'm back, Mr. Carter is back! Ha!

Okay, our first order of business? My boy, my ace, my dawg, the one and only President Senator Barack Obama! OMG! I know you all weren't sleeping on his acceptance speech last Thursday! The groupies and delegates (you really can't tell them apart anymore) must've cheered about 3 to 4 minutes before he could even get started! On a serious note, the moment delivered chills across my spine and like First Lady O (F.L.O.), I too felt proud to be an American that day! For all the injustices and hardships that my people have endured and experienced throughout the centuries. The lynchings, the beatings, the whippings, the auction blocks, the pain, the torture, the anguish, the suffering and trauma, the dogs, fire hoses, and countless incidents of discrimination and segregation, we have finally made it to the top! Yes, I know, I know ... he's not President yet but damn if he didn't look all presidential standing on that dais! The historical significance of that day was simply overwhelming! My single regret? I wish my grandparents were alive to see how far we’ve come!

Let's see, what is the next bit of business to cover? Ah yes! I lost another few pounds! I'm down to 195 so it's been a total of roughly 10 pounds. There's actually some inspiration behind that but we'll get to that in the following post.

Lastly, I'm done with Twists. We got together this past Saturday afternoon and fooled around but I haven't talked to him since. It's cool. We both got what we wanted and it's time to move on. I wish him only the best.

Now on to what I'm dying to REALLY discuss! Baby-Jay (my wildly juvenile alter ego) decided to come out and play this past weekend and I'm so glad he stopped by! My cousin (read: What Can You Say ... It's Family!) invited me to her girlfriend's house for a cookout/house party on Saturday night. Now, my regular readers, you guys know I'm a homebody, I'm extremely quiet and introverted. I had no one to accompany me. The Divo was in Philly for the weekend with his man so I was trying to make up an excuse. Subsequently, Baby-Jay hopped in the driver's seat and we ended up at the party.

I arrived late and just missed the strippers (they had male and female strippers) but another was due to arrive later. The party was filled with primarily women (a boat-load of lesbians) and merely three guys (myself included). After a few beers and cocktails from the bar, I was feeling NO PAIN! I was spilling drinks, acting wild, yelling loudly, hugged up on a few people and doing s*** I don't ever do!

There was only one other brotha at the party and I was very interested, very horny, very drunk: pick one. He was hanging with this other guy (Male #3) who seemed pretty cozy with him.

"His boyfriend?", I thought.

Male #3 pulled out his phone and announced, "I gotta check in with my husband!"

CHECK ONE: the brotha was single!

While everyone was waiting on the second stripper, more guests and neighbors from across the street arrived and everyone got louder and significantly trashed. Some of the ladies were sharing pics on their cameras and phones showing how the brotha had "turned the stripper out." After this brotha finished with the male stripper, the folding chair was broken!

CHECK TWO: knows how to work it!

The female stripper arrived (no males) so I decided I wanted to stay upstairs on the deck. I obviously had zero interest in seeing the opposite sex.

On the side, I always knew SGL guys were wild at parties but I don't think they have anything on lesbians! They were coaxing these teenage girls across the street to come over and to bring their mom who came over and got just as tore down! When the strip show finished, there was whip cream, bananas and chocolate everywhere! I even ended up with chocolate on my shirt and I didn't even go down to the basement! One word: INSANE!

Well of course the brotha decided he wanted to stay upstairs as well. He came back from the bathroom and finally we were alone on the deck. Somehow we ended up discussing music and I found out he was a big neo-soul and Alicia Keys fan! Soon the conversation progressed to my likes, his dislikes, my goals, his education, our locks, his poetry and before long, I was hooked.

Needless to say, I was far too wasted to drive home and he took my keys from me.

"You're staying here tonight ... with me!" he said.

Somewhere around 3 AM, we both ended up descending the steps to the basement. The red glow from the lights made it look like a brutal sacrifice of a chocolate Easter bunny had taken place! Chocolate was on the steps, the walls, the floor, everywhere!

At this point, everything was spinning and I just wanted to pass out. I hadn't drank this much since my freshman year of college (1999). We opened the futon and I fell on the cushion, eyes closed, ready to drift into blissful sleep. However, a few moments later, the lights went out and I could feel him crawl on the futon next to me, his Timbs dropped heavily to the floor and his hands slid up my chest ...

CHECK THREE!

I'll post the second part tomorrow (first day of classes and got a million things to do. Trust. I won't leave you guys hanging!)