Come Back To The World (Part 1)

Hey Mr. Carter (Mr. Carter)
Tell me where you been (where you been)
They been asking, they been searching,
They been wondering why

(Lil' Wayne feat. Jay-Z - Mr. Carter, Tha Carter III)

"Haha, you know, I been around the world!" Nah, for real, it's been a crazy, awesome, insane and WICKED week! I took a hiatus from life and I'm back, Mr. Carter is back! Ha!

Okay, our first order of business? My boy, my ace, my dawg, the one and only President Senator Barack Obama! OMG! I know you all weren't sleeping on his acceptance speech last Thursday! The groupies and delegates (you really can't tell them apart anymore) must've cheered about 3 to 4 minutes before he could even get started! On a serious note, the moment delivered chills across my spine and like First Lady O (F.L.O.), I too felt proud to be an American that day! For all the injustices and hardships that my people have endured and experienced throughout the centuries. The lynchings, the beatings, the whippings, the auction blocks, the pain, the torture, the anguish, the suffering and trauma, the dogs, fire hoses, and countless incidents of discrimination and segregation, we have finally made it to the top! Yes, I know, I know ... he's not President yet but damn if he didn't look all presidential standing on that dais! The historical significance of that day was simply overwhelming! My single regret? I wish my grandparents were alive to see how far we’ve come!

Let's see, what is the next bit of business to cover? Ah yes! I lost another few pounds! I'm down to 195 so it's been a total of roughly 10 pounds. There's actually some inspiration behind that but we'll get to that in the following post.

Lastly, I'm done with Twists. We got together this past Saturday afternoon and fooled around but I haven't talked to him since. It's cool. We both got what we wanted and it's time to move on. I wish him only the best.

Now on to what I'm dying to REALLY discuss! Baby-Jay (my wildly juvenile alter ego) decided to come out and play this past weekend and I'm so glad he stopped by! My cousin (read: What Can You Say ... It's Family!) invited me to her girlfriend's house for a cookout/house party on Saturday night. Now, my regular readers, you guys know I'm a homebody, I'm extremely quiet and introverted. I had no one to accompany me. The Divo was in Philly for the weekend with his man so I was trying to make up an excuse. Subsequently, Baby-Jay hopped in the driver's seat and we ended up at the party.

I arrived late and just missed the strippers (they had male and female strippers) but another was due to arrive later. The party was filled with primarily women (a boat-load of lesbians) and merely three guys (myself included). After a few beers and cocktails from the bar, I was feeling NO PAIN! I was spilling drinks, acting wild, yelling loudly, hugged up on a few people and doing s*** I don't ever do!

There was only one other brotha at the party and I was very interested, very horny, very drunk: pick one. He was hanging with this other guy (Male #3) who seemed pretty cozy with him.

"His boyfriend?", I thought.

Male #3 pulled out his phone and announced, "I gotta check in with my husband!"

CHECK ONE: the brotha was single!

While everyone was waiting on the second stripper, more guests and neighbors from across the street arrived and everyone got louder and significantly trashed. Some of the ladies were sharing pics on their cameras and phones showing how the brotha had "turned the stripper out." After this brotha finished with the male stripper, the folding chair was broken!

CHECK TWO: knows how to work it!

The female stripper arrived (no males) so I decided I wanted to stay upstairs on the deck. I obviously had zero interest in seeing the opposite sex.

On the side, I always knew SGL guys were wild at parties but I don't think they have anything on lesbians! They were coaxing these teenage girls across the street to come over and to bring their mom who came over and got just as tore down! When the strip show finished, there was whip cream, bananas and chocolate everywhere! I even ended up with chocolate on my shirt and I didn't even go down to the basement! One word: INSANE!

Well of course the brotha decided he wanted to stay upstairs as well. He came back from the bathroom and finally we were alone on the deck. Somehow we ended up discussing music and I found out he was a big neo-soul and Alicia Keys fan! Soon the conversation progressed to my likes, his dislikes, my goals, his education, our locks, his poetry and before long, I was hooked.

Needless to say, I was far too wasted to drive home and he took my keys from me.

"You're staying here tonight ... with me!" he said.

Somewhere around 3 AM, we both ended up descending the steps to the basement. The red glow from the lights made it look like a brutal sacrifice of a chocolate Easter bunny had taken place! Chocolate was on the steps, the walls, the floor, everywhere!

At this point, everything was spinning and I just wanted to pass out. I hadn't drank this much since my freshman year of college (1999). We opened the futon and I fell on the cushion, eyes closed, ready to drift into blissful sleep. However, a few moments later, the lights went out and I could feel him crawl on the futon next to me, his Timbs dropped heavily to the floor and his hands slid up my chest ...

CHECK THREE!

I'll post the second part tomorrow (first day of classes and got a million things to do. Trust. I won't leave you guys hanging!)