Can You Spare Change?

This weekend, I spent time helping The Voice and his roommates, J.J., move into their new apartment.

The weekend before, we spent the night on the town because we knew that work lay upon the horizon. We met up in Boston, walked through the bustling, vibrant North End to a waterfront Chinese restaurant called Billy Tse and then cut through Faneuil Hall and the Commons to the Theatre District to check out Charlie Murphy at the Wilbur Theatre. All in all, it was a perfect last weekend in his old place! Oh yeah, neither of us really found Charlie Murphy all that funny so just an F.Y.I. ... my personal fav? Chris Rock!

This past weekend, I struggled anxiously through class on Friday and then bolted to the new crib to see what I could help out with. J-Male's parents were visiting from out of town and helped with the move along with The Voice and his son (long story but it’s not his biological son!) By the time I arrived at the apartment, most everything was done.

The Voice and I made a final sweep of the old apartment and picked up the remaining items. I looked wistfully around the barren rooms and then after slowly closing the door, decided not to look back, only forward. However, The Voice wasn't feeling that wistful and decided to stick it to the landlady for being such a royal b**** - he unscrewed the front and back porch exterior light bulbs and we bounced!

Next up was the IKEA drama! The delivery people had a little trouble finding the location. They finally got the items there while The Voice and I returned to my house to pick up his super-sized mirror and bedside lamps. We got a call from Lady J who told us that the assembly guy (contracted through IKEA as well) was running late. The Voice called him up only to receive no answer and a dial tone and after multiple phone calls, arguments between Lady J, The Voice and the assembly guy's boss, they agreed to send a person out at eight o'clock at night! Needless to say, The Voice and Lady J were VERY pissed! Please take note that J-Male and I were staying neutral and relaxed throughout all this

They don’t call us “better halves” for nothing! LOL

Well, The Voice then decided to shop at Bed, Bath & Beyond and Target while the furniture was being assembled. However, he cornered the poor, defenseless BB&B saleswoman and unleashed his tirade about IKEA's exceptionally crummy customer service and then left even more irate at the amount of money he had spent! We returned most of it the next day and settled with a less expensive bathroom set with extraneous accessories we acquired at Kohl's, Homegoods and Target. While the assembly man labored away, we all dug into the Chinese food and finished unpacking.

The Voice spent his first night at the crib alone since he was starting to annoy me (chock it up to being late and we were very tired). The following day, we shopped till we dropped and came back to set the bathroom up (I'll post a few pics when I stop by his place tomorrow). After all our hard work, we attended a revival service at my cousin's church which wasn’t too far from The Empire. Java-Mama, The Voice and I were deeply moved and truly uplifted following the pastor's message and the musical selections! Afterward, we checked out X-Men Origins: Wolverine and called it a night.

Our first night together was serene and relaxing and we lay in bed discussing possible furniture arrangements for his bedroom. We spoke softly and then realized his roommates were on the far side of the apartment in their master suite so were able to talk a bit more loudly. Such an revitalizing change from the old apartment (we always kept the TV and vocal volume down for fear of disturbing his roomies).

On Sunday, we shopped again till we dropped and when we returned home, I assembled the lamps, tower fan, bathroom shelves and hung pictures. My “supervising half” arranged and decorated and by that night, his room and the bathroom were honestly starting to feel like a home. I “chillaxed” in the kitchen with J.J. and we all sat around discussing ideas for the living/kitchen area.

I beginning to feel even more at home in his apartment and I'd be a liar if I said the idea of moving in hasn't crossed my mind a few times. J-Male and Lady J get along great with me. We've dined together, I've walked their dog, I take out the trash and do dishes. I'm even planning to cook a Sunday dinner in a few weeks! While The Voice thinks moving in together is too soon, I'm wondering just when the right time is. What if we're still not ready at a year’s time or what if we've been ready all along? We're vibin' on a level that's truly unprecedented. No major fights or quarrels and the few disagreements we do have seem to fizzle out after a short "time-out." I believe people will think I'm too desperate if I move in this early in the relationship however, those same people have been repeatedly asking us when it will happen. We've firmly established our relationship and most of our friends and family have accepted the other into the circle. Although I can think of many positive reasons, I can unearth as many negative concern and that leaves me in a mental standoff.

Nonetheless, it's a spectacular feeling leaving the old behind and focusing on the future! So much has changed in my life in just a few short months. From leaving The Fund, attending school full-time, working at The Empire, to entering into a relationship, The Voice cutting his locks and moving ... even our newest family member! While all this change feels overwhelming at times, simultaneously it feels perfectly natural and I’m aware that without it, my life would be incredibly dreary and lifeless.

So bring on the change and let me feel, breathe and live once again!

Today’s advice?

“Make a change in your life…!”

Take Me Back

“Sittin’ here thinking bout yesterday
About what we did and how we used to play
Just the thought of you brings a smile upon my face
That’s how it makes me feel to see you everyday

(Chorus)
Take me there,
I wanna go there,
Take me there,
Let’s go there,
Take me to that great place
With wonders and wishes”

Blackstreet, Mya, Mase & Blinky Blink (Take Me There Remix – from The Rugrats Movie Soundtrack)

Going back to the basics was what our weekend theme two weeks ago was all about! I haven't had a weekend like that in several months and to say it was splendid was an absolute understatement!

The Voice and I met up at the train station on Saturday morning and jetted to the post office to apply for his passport. Afterwards, we timidly entered the realm of baby shopping seeking out a gift for my one year old great-niece. We made a pit stop at D'Angelo's and sat in the car in front of Babies R' Us commenting and laughing at the various couples entering. I know, I know, it sounds mean but we were getting a kick out of "who wears the pants in which relationship," poking fun at the husbands who looked like they had been dragged by their toenails into the store. Eventually, we picked out a plastic pink stroller which I hoped would help her with walking - it was also the nicest and cheapest item and you know I'm on a college student, post-Bush recession budget!

I wrapped the gift up, scooped up Pops and left for the party. We arrived very late but that means absolutely nothing at a gathering of CP's! I was especially eager to introduce my sister, nieces, nephew-in-law, and brother-in-law to The Voice. The kids (I have two great nieces and nephews) were swarming around the yard and the house was filled with one ghetto couple after another. Nevertheless, it was good to see my niece, who sorta resembles Solé. Tweet, my sister, was busy helping The Voice get his buzz on (she makes this incredible concoction that consists of Southern Comfort, sherbet and ginger ale and probably some other secret ingredient that she’ll never reveal!).

Well, an hour into the party, I was satiated with my fill of ghetto-ness and we left. Besides, The Voice and I had tickets to check out The Blue Man Group! Now, I had seen the show several years ago with one of the X-Men, Heart2Soul, but I have to say that I found it just as fascinating and inventive and was able to discern more themes the second time around. I kept stressing to The Voice that we "simply cannot be late!" and he kept questioning me. He found out when they allowed a few late-comers to enter the show, shined a spotlight on them, featured them on camera, and sang "Yooooou're laaaateee!" ... he simply glanced over at me, smirking and realized why I had been so insistent! Overall, we enjoyed the show despite not being able to see the entire stage due to several “fatheads.” Following the performance, I was trailed down the stairs by one of the blue men ... damn, those guys really give me the creeps!

We were starving and thus headed to our favorite spot. Yep, you guessed it!

Cheesecake Factory!

A perfect ending to the perfect evening. Walking around the theatre district after a riveting show, dinner at a fairly decent place (the cheesecake and drinks are the only things truly worth checking out!), it was nice to go home and “cuddle” together.

The next day, we slept in and then stopped by UMB so I could take care of my penultimate stats lab. We then spent the remainder of the afternoon furniture shopping, eventually ending up back at IKEA.

SIDEBAR: I finally heard from Crazy and suffice it to say, he's doing good and still crazy! Hopefully we'll hang out soon.

The best part of the evening was when we rushed back to the Lizard Lounge in Cambridge to watch the Poetry Slam Finals which featured eight outstanding poets who rocked the house! The place was small and packed wall to wall, not an empty chair left. I hadn’t seen it like that since the first time he introduced me to the slam. By the way, that was our first date the day after we met. Told ya! It was all about going back, waaaay back, back into tiiiiimmmmmeeee ... okay, it's late, I'm being silly!

The poets, Iyeoka Okoawo, Art, Marlon Carey, Nicole “Cole” Rodriguez, Harlym 1 two 5, Influence, Michelle and Fibo each went three rounds, three minutes apiece with topics ranging from sex and love to political issues. I don’t want to get into specifics because this blog entry will be ten times longer but all were spectacular in his or her unique way. In the end, Marlon, Cole, Harlym 1 two 5, and Iyeoka were chosen to represent the Boston Slam Team in the National Slam Finals in West Palm Beach, FL in August. The place cleared out rather quickly following the intense competition and a small gathering remained to check out the open mic. Suddenly, The Voice felt empowered and decided to get up and spit something … needless to say (and maybe I’m a bit biased), he rocked what was left of the house!

We were the very last two patrons to leave and it was late when we arrived home but that didn’t stop our hearts from caressing one another and we fell fast asleep in our arms.

Monday morning flew by rapidly. Pizzeria Regina and Barnes & Noble filled our day and then I was off to work, my head saturated with thoughts of our “chill” weekend.

I recently expressed that I felt our relationship was getting stale but in hindsight, I feel I was terribly off-base. It’s not stale but rather, we’re exceptionally comfortable with one another. We are no longer erecting our facades of the “perfect boyfriend”; the infatuation has ended. We’re very much in love, but the level we’ve attained is beyond anything I’ve felt for another human being. Many of our flaws have been revealed to one another and while I used to be extremely self-conscious about my appearance and behavior, I’ve come to understand that building a future with someone means tearing down those walls and revealing your true personality. That weekend really helped recapture those heartfelt emotions of what initially attracted me to The Voice.

On The Streets Of Philadelphia (Part 2)

So I awoke to my second day in Philly and the day was overflowing with untold possibilities. I wanted to experience everything but reality set in and I knew that was impossible since I was scheduled to depart the next day.

Needless to say, time was against us and true to the nature of our relationship, we lounged in bed most of the morning. But can you blame a brotha? It's not often you get to chill in Philadelphia with your boyfriend in a fancy loft of a semi-famous musician ...

We lay there telling stories and I discovered that The Voice used to bus tables during his undergrad years. However, that gig didn't last long after he knocked a customer out cold with a busing bucket! A long story I won't digress into but he had me in stitches for a good five minutes!

We eventually made our way out of bed and showered, eager to explore the city. And of course we couldn't have a weekend away from Boston without a small disagreement. I fussed about his slowness in getting ready but he snapped back regarding my lackadaisical attitude. The argument fizzled once we were in the car and in a few minutes, we were cruising towards downtown Philadelphia.

We zipped past Love Park and City Hall and then proceeded down the Avenue of the Arts. I pointed out the statue of William Penn at the apex of the building. We stopped at a Whole Foods on South Street to pick up some stuff. However, I was on the hunt for the one thing I craved and needed to experience before leaving this city: a cheesesteak! The Divo and his boyfriend visited Philly a few months prior and recommended Geno's Steaks, a few blocks shy of South Street. After a few wrong turns (my one significant complaint about Philly is the lab rat maze-like feel of numerous one-way streets! ARGH! There's no such thing as "around the block"!), we found the Geno's and their competition, packed with hungry people and lines wrapping around the building. I parked in a lot a few blocks away and walked back.

The line moved at a measured pace and I gazed over the many celebrity and non-celebrity photos, autographs and multitudes of fire and police patches. There was even a sidewalk dedication to law enforcement, complete with plaques and bronzed memorabilia. The turn was mine and I ordered a steak with swiss cheese and no onions (they don't agree with me) and got a side of fries and a coke. I swear I put on about 10 pounds after that meal but it was well worth it! The Voice stood with me but being a Vegan, he had no interest in joining me.

Shopping was next on the agenda and I steered us northward, back toward City Hall and down Market Street. We hopped on Interstate 76 and cruised past Boathouse Row on the Schuylkill River and down the scenic Lincoln Drive. The road curved and twisted like a boa constrictor and eventually deposited us in the Chestnut Hill area.

Having fell in love with this area from my last visit, I had go back there. The quaint shops, the cobblestone roads, the small town/village relaxed me to no end and once again, true to our relationship, we sought out the nearest bookstore (Border's) and set about buying stuff we probably didn't need. Yeah, I know, we're dorky like that but we're both huge readers and can easily spend HOURS in a bookstore and not be bored!

We then drove up to the Franklin Mills Mall after some more wrong turns and shopped around for a while. I managed to snag Musiq’s latest album and then we decided to get back to Philly so we could feed our rumbling stomachs. We returned to the apartment and snacked on some leftovers from Warmdaddy’s; little did we know, this would be our undoing. We hopped in the car. Destination: the Gayberhood. (Cute name, huh?) However, The Voice became increasingly nauseous from the food and I turned back to the apartment. He lay down leaving me anxiously bored. I flipped on the plasma TV and surfed around awhile. Eventually, I found some old menus and put in an order for a pizza from a shop around the corner.

Not quite how I envisioned my Saturday evening.

Sunday morning, we lazed in bed awhile and then I began packing. We traipsed to a small Mexican bistro a block away and I had the BEST pancakes in my life, coated with powdered sugar and strawberries and blueberries! Wow, I’m salivating just thinking about that memory …

Right before it was time to depart for the airport, the apartment manager stopped by to straighten up and we had a nice conversation. She moved to Philadelphia a few years ago from Arizona to be closer to her daughter and decided to remain. I think I can understand why.

Nevertheless, before I knew it, I was sitting in the terminal at Philadelphia International next to a bunch of bratty kids who couldn’t sit still to save their lives. I snagged a few souvenirs from the airport gift shop and soon was sailing through the air, on my way back to Boston.

I’ve had the pleasure of visiting Philly twice and each time has been an amazingly adventure. I’ve seen the best of Philly and the worst (visited North Philly the last time and here I thought our hoods were extremely ghetto). Overall, I find the people to be more open and friendlier (we’re a bit stuffy here in Beantown) and the general layout isn’t to hard to follow. Philadelphia is brimming with culture, music, art, and history and I see it as a kindred city. If given a chance to live there, I would definitely consider it.

However, in the spirit of Dorothy, “There’s [truly] no place like home!”

On The Streets Of Philadelphia (Part 1)

This past weekend, I visited the great city of love and man was it brotherly!

Philadelphia.

I flew out Friday morning on probably the most derelict flight EVER! My flight was delayed (which was a surprise since I've never taken issue with Delta) so The Voice and I made it into a competition to see who would arrive in Philly first. I think he touched down a few minutes before me.

These three black guys in front of me were busy yakking away and constantly tapping away on their Blackberry's and Sidekicks. But sister-girl attendant wasn't having it. She made the announcement for everyone to shut down their electronic devices but they continued pecking away. So she came back and said,

"You gentlemen need to turn those off now. Thanks!"

But oh no, sister-girl wasn't done. She then went back to the front cabin and stated on the intercom,

"When I make an announcement, it's for the benefit and respect for all on board so when I say to shut off electronic devices, please adhere! Thank you!"

Wow! :: z snap :: "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!"

“Oh yes she did!”

After several more problems with the lavatory, of which she constantly reiterated,

"I don't know what happened but it wasn't me that messed it up! It was like that when I came on!',

we finally departed.

I managed a seat to myself since it wasn't a full flight and then watched the magnificent skyline pf Philadelphia gradually come into focus out the port window. I was extremely enthusiastic to touch down and see my baby!

I deplaned, breathing in the crisp, cold Philadelphia air and then made my way through the crowded terminal to retrieve my bags. By the way, the $40 fee for an extra bag is absolutely outrageous! Never mind the fact I had to spend several hundred for a weekend roundtrip ... and all I got was a half cup of soda and a tiny a** bag of peanuts that wouldn't even stuff an anorexic mouse?! Come on!

Okay, sorry, I that was the Cassandra Fierce personality taking over … where was I? Oh yeah …

The Voice made his way to my terminal via a taxi (yep, you read correctly: a taxi to go from one terminal to the next! "I'mma I'mma a diva, I'mma I'mma a diva") we hopped on the car rental shuttle to pick up our ride. Now why is it that the most OBVIOUSLY SGL guys work in service oriented businesses? And it's quite OBVIOUS that these OBVIOUS guys are hitting on you. Questions like, "Oh do you two work together?" or "Can I just see your license one more time, sir! ... mmmm-kay, thanks!" Yeah, not OBVIOUS at all! And all while my man was in the restroom ... not cute!

"I gotta man!" - Positive K

So we picked out the car and zipped down the highway to the apartment. We cruised past the Philadelphia Eagles stadium and the Citizens Bank Park and then up the east side of the city. After a harrowing ride, we pulled off the highway and I could see Penn's Landing to my right. The apartment was only a few blocks away in a heavily gentrified neighborhood. I walked in to find a two room studio-like loft. High ceilings, old painted brick walls, a modern open kitchen and a flat screen TV were just some of the luxurious features of this quaint place. It was even cooler because it’s owned by a famous musician and his memorabilia adorned the walls. However neither of us paid any attention to that because we had some “things” to take care of!

The Voice and I strolled down the cold, blustery street to a contemporary Mexican restaurant/bar, sampling their veggie chicken wings and burritos. We were starving after a day of anxious travel. We chilled at the loft for a while and then headed out to our 7:30 reservations at Warmdaddy’s, a soul-food entertainment venue that was featuring Carol Riddick, an up-and-coming R&B songstress. I had been to Warmdaddy’s before however, at their old location on Front Street. The new joint was impressive and much more elegant. Black tables with a modern bar and soothing red toned walls made us long for a Boston location. Carol Riddick came on stage with a four piece band and two backup singers and performed sultry jazz numbers under the neon glow of the Warmdaddy’s sign.

The Voice and I sampled finger foods, the drink menu (except me) as well as their salmon entrée and Cajun chicken pasta. We were both still stuffed from the Mexican food but nibbled nonetheless. Carol possessed a bubbly and bright personality, similar to Jill Scott however, was drowned out by her spotlight hogging keyboardist and drummer. The backup singers swayed to the beat but were never really heard. Such a shame since Ms. Riddick had some serious pipes. After the set, The Voice, feeling empowered by several drinks, conversed with her, offering his unique brand of criticism and complement.

So it was 9:30 and we weren’t ready to call it a night so we braved the massive, crushing crowds at the movie theater adjacent to Warmdaddy’s to check out Madea Goes To Jail. After standing in the LONGEST line of my life (I think President Obama’s first year in office passed by!) just to get some drinks and Twizzlers, we scoped out two seats and kicked back. Now, this movie theater was definitely black owned because we initially stood in line for 30 minutes for snacks. Secondly, the movie advertisements didn’t start until almost 11:05 (supposed to be 10:50) and lastly, following the movie (of which most people were talking through), a fight nearly broke out because someone in the back threw an item in the midst of a group of ghetto girls up front. Yeah, you do the math …

(Item Thrown + Crowded Theater) x Ghetto Girls² = I’M A KICK YO A**!!!!

After the movie, we hurried back to our car and made a dash for the apartment. However, we arrived to find someone parked in our assigned space in the lot. So while I was ready to leave the wheels on the street, The Voice decided to hunt down the culprits and draw and quarter them! Nah, he just wanted to get their car towed. So I suggested the Irish bar across the street and lo and behold, he stalked in their to seek and destroy. I half expected the cops to show up a few minutes later but he eventually emerged with the guy who apologized profusely and we obtained our space.

After short make-out session on our way into the apartment, we crashed in bed and I drifted into a peaceful slumber …

… what would my second day in Philly be like?

My Sickly Valentine (Part 2)

So did we manage to save V-Day weekend?

Sorta.

I was up and down all night, my stomach giving me the ultimate run for my money. The Voice rebounded from his toothache however, my ailments just wouldn't disappear. Gradually, I developed a fever and felt like I was in Shubuta, Mississippi! Every joint in my body ached and my muscles were leaden as though I was in the supergravity of a gas giant. We lay in bed nearly all of Sunday and I fitfully slept in between the gory sounds of Friday The 13th playing On Demand (he's a huge horror fan and I'm not, so I lay facing the wall).

And did he take care of me? Without a doubt! After the release of nearly all my stomach contents, I was feeling extremely dehydrated. I recalled my Nutrition course professor's lesson, that the body needs electrolytes following such an extreme loss of fluid. So I sent my man across the street to 7-Eleven to buy me several bottles of Gatorade. Additionally, he brought me some Zantac to help relieve my stomach as well as break my fever and alleviate my throbbing muscles. He even texted my bro and mom to tell them what was going on!

Later that afternoon, my fever broke and I began feeling extremely restless. So we ended up playing checkers on my phone and he kept me entertained with all sorts of stories from his past. We also watched a really lame made-for-TV horror flick called The Breed. The plot involved a group of "killer dogs" who terrorize a bunch of partying college kids vacationing on an island. Needless to say, it was downright stupid and the effects were lame but I only watched because my sexy baby Hill Harper was in it ("why Hill, why? You're a Harvard law school grad! You're sooo much better than that!") It was more laughable than anything.

This lazy day was exactly what the doctor ordered! You've no idea how great it felt to simply lounge with my boyfriend. And even though I felt like the bottom of my shoe, he stuck by me when I wasn't at my best.

Now, I think I'm beginning to understand this concept called love a lot better. Nevermind that I puked all over the place and had bed hair. Nevermind that I was funky. Nevermind that I basically looked like s****! (T.M.I. maybe?) He was with me.

I think I'm digging this love thing a whole lot! :: huge grin ::

That evening, we left the house and stopped by a Border's Bookstore and picked up some food for him at P.F. Chang's. When we got home, I was beginning to feel crummy again and simply wanted real food (I'd been eating only yogurt and Gatorade) and rest. I entered his room and to my surprise he had heated up a bowl of chicken soup with a glass of Gatorade and some aspirin to relieve my sore arms! While my baby isn't exactly a Le Cordon Bleu graduate, he can hold his own so that really made my night.

The next morning he accompanied me to my primary physician and even went along to the pharmacy. I'm telling you, it

"Don't get much better than this!"

So while our romantic V-Day weekend didn't go precisely as planned, I got to see a more caring, more nurturing side to The Voice. His kindness and patience have left a deep impression on me. In the months that I've known him, The Voice has proven time and time again his loyalty and dedication to his friends. But I often wondered where did I stand? He's opened up tenfold since we met however, feeling that unconditional love when I'm at a low point is truly indescribable and soul-warming ...

... and it's probably the best Valentine's gift I ever received!

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Addendum: To answer Sean Stone's question, it was a stomach virus that seemed to go through the entire family, two of which were on antibiotics (Java-Mama and Rugrat). My doc didn't prescribe any for me as the virus had run it's course by the time I went to see him. The craziest part? We all the same symptoms but weren't even around each other (my folks were out of town of the weekend). While I'm all better, it seems that the virus went after The Voice but more on my weekend in Philadelphia in the next post!

My Sickly Valentine (Part 1)

I never understood the meaning of 'lovesick' and now I think I do! But it's not in quite the way you'd imagine ...

I was in high anticipation Friday night and after rushing through my work, I jetted to my baby's crib to hold him tighter than ever before. We curled up and snored the night away, I woke up on Valentine's Day to his grinning face and sparkling eyes. Talk about a great way to begin my special day!

The Voice and I spent most of the day lying in bed, laughing, joking, talking and simply relaxing. After a few hours of laziness, we went out to pick up a few V-Day gifts for his friends and family. We stopped to grab a bite of food and then made our rounds like Santa on Christmas Eve. We swung by Ladybug's crib and met her sister who was visiting from out of town. J-Dub was by and after a shot or two, everyone was feeling nice (except me).

As we left, I was bit annoyed because the day hadn't gone as I had planned and I didn't get all my V-Day stuff together for The Voice. So we headed on to Hollywood Video and picked up Love Jones with Larenz Tate and Nia Long and then proceeded to the Build-A-Bear Workshop where he let me design my own Valentine bear!

Above: Kindred

Some of his friends remarked that this idea was a childish but we tuned them out. Subsequently, we observed a guy and his girlfriend picking out and designing a bear so I felt less awkward.

We then made our way back to his crib and I whipped up dinner. Needless to say, it all went downhill.

How you may ask?

"Well ... " (said like Samantha Stevens from Bewitched)

I whipped up some shrimp alfredo and some fish patties for The Voice. His wisdom tooth started aching so he laid down while I popped in Love Jones. I was really getting into the movie and he presented my other gifts. He gave me a card, the Noah's Arc: Jumping The Broom DVD, and a framed picture of himself with his original poem (and my favorite) titled The Voice. The most amazing part? On the frame was a quote I had texted him while I was Christmas shopping a few months ago which I thought he had forgotten all about! It read:

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Above: The Voice's gift (he's shy so I had to block out his face!)

So after the movie ended, my stomach started rumbling.

"It's just a little indigestion," I thought.

Well I drifted off to sleep and sometime around 2 AM, I dashed into the bathroom for some one-on-one face time with the toilet bowl. I don't think there's anything worse than puking your guts up on Valentine's night and then having to clean it all up. And of course The Voice couldn't really take care of me because he was still hurting. But my body wasn't finished. I ended up back in there several more times throughout the night. My stomach felt like someone had gut punched me and was twisting my organs inside out ...

Was there any way to save the rest of our wanna-be-romantic weekend?

Weekend of Thanks

Has everyone had enough turkey yet?! I'm just about sick of it! Java-Mama carved up the remainder of the turkey and concocted soup. Nonetheless, a "rose by any other name is still a rose!" and turkey, no matter how it's prepared is still turkey!

How was your Thanksgiving? Relaxing, I hope ...

I departed work earlier on Thanksgiving Eve and went to my baby's crib. Thanksgiving morning, we proceeded to the gym and I ran about 6 miles. Afterwards, I chilled at home and managed to catch up on some personal items. Pops wasn’t feeling well so Java-Mama, Rugrat and myself finished preparing the meal. Nevertheless, we had an exceptional dinner. Later on, I dropped by J-Dub's house and hung out with The Voice and his close friends/family. We sat around laughing, joking and sipping on pumpkin martinis while watching Beauty Shop.

The Voice stayed over my house. I permitted him to sleep in my bed (I only have a twin) and I settled on an air mattress. The next morning, we made breakfast (grits, eggs, bacon, pancakes, biscuits, and toast) for my family. My man can really throw down in the kitchen and there ain’t nothing sexier than a guy who can cook!

Therewithal, we went mattress shopping (his mattress is in bad shape) and after several stops, we eventually settled on decent one for a reasonable price. Unfortunately, it will be delivered this coming weekend so we have to endure back pain for several more nights. It was truly pleasant to shop with him on such a significant purchase. Furthermore, we were in a furniture store browsing through sofas, bedroom and dining sets, discussing how our apartment would look and who would decorate which room.

I went to work Friday night but returned at 3 AM and snuggled with him until the first rays of Saturday light dawned. After a trip to the barbershop, I took him to one of my four alma maters (yeah, I’ve been to four schools - and?) We toured Nashua, New Hampshire and Daniel Webster College. I hadn't been back to my school in years and quite a few changes had taken place. Many memories flooded back and I cherished being able to share them with him.

He got one of his tattoos touched up over in Salem and then I drove like the wind to Boston to check out Eddie Griffin at the Wilbur Theater (Comedy Connection). Ole dude was CRAZY funny and we had moderately appropriate seats in the front, albeit somewhat smothering. Eddie spoke about Obama, starving kids in Africa, Richard Pryor, Bernie Mac, his family and a wide range of topics.

As we left the theater, The Voice was virtually run down by a car and I stood by, completely paralyzed. He cussed the driver out (who turned without using a signal) and when we finally reached the parking garage, I almost broke down. Essentially, I realize he means a lot to me but the possibility of death or serious injury was too great for me to bear. When we got back to the house, we lay in bed watching The Reaping until he drifted off to sleep in my arms. I came mere inches to losing my angel and I wasn't about to release him that night.

Sunday we attended a Thanksgiving buffet hosted by a motherly friend of The Voice. She absolutely adores me (as did most of her guests) and said we made a handsome couple. We brought her flowers and wine as a contribution to the meal and I had an amazing time. Afterward, we did laundry and then relaxed at my house. Java-Mama and Pops pulled out the family photo albums and took a trip down memory lane which included a picture of Baby K.C. with my a** caught in the bars of the crib!

And no! I'm not scanning it and putting it on my blog! LOL

All in all, I had a spectacular weekend. Some laughs, scares, memories and some really spectacular food! The Voice flies out of town this week and I'm focusing on my class presentation that is due Friday. Furthermore, my Jazz Concert is next Tuesday evening (12/9) and my jury is next Friday (12/12) so I've got a LOT of practicing to do this week/weekend. Seeing my baby this weekend will be a sweet reward for all this hard work!

Have a great week everyone!

I Gotta Man ...

I haven't prepared a weekend update in a minute. However, it was an excellent weekend so I felt compelled to write about it.

Friday: After work, I arrived at The Voice’s apartment sometime around 3 AM. I hadn't seen my baby all week (he was out of town on business) so I was more than anxious to be in his company. As Akon states in his newest single, "I miss you much!"

Saturday: We spent the majority of the morning in bed, relaxing and catching up while he twisted his locks. Soon after, we made our debut as a couple at the barbershop (ironically, we went to the same barber for years and never encountered one another!) Later, we stopped by Qdoba's for some grub and then went our separate ways. The Voice returned to NH with his friends to obtain an additional tattoo.

Later that evening, we met at an event in Woburn that screamed "King of the Hill" all over it! His friend's friend's rock band was performing at a VFW post and we (four of us) were the only African-American's in the joint ... not that I have a problem with it. However, once the white folk started country dancing while intoxicated (they can't really dance when they're sober either!), we were all set.

Our diminutive entourage journeyed to the Roxy and got our drink and dance on. I hadn't been out in a while and was really looking forward to this. Furthermore, I had never been to the Roxy so I found the evening quite fascinating. The club is a renovated ballroom featuring a massive dance floor, high ceilings, and an enormous bar which dominates the rear of the club. The combination of flashing lights, strobes, colors, and the primped up boys transported me into an episode of Queer As Folk (Think: Babylon).

After swallowing a few more drinks, I was ready to f*** get into the groove. While The Voice and his friend roamed the hall, I danced with their other mutual friend until they returned. Subsequently, we danced together for a while until another entourage merged with ours. One guy from Entourage B (EB) broke rank, stepped to me and introduced himself as politely as possible above the blaring music. He flashed a flirtatious smile and endeavored to dance with me. I was instantly thrilled (I've never actually been hit on while at a club) but I possessed the one previously deficient factor while at a club: a man.

It was time to pull out my ace and fold.

While dancing, I worked my way over to The Voice and slipped my hands around his slim waist, grabbing him closely from behind. Our hips were in synchronous motion, my lips brushing the hairs on his neck and we embraced tightly. The music, our lust, the heat, our passion and connection drove me to kiss him. Needless to say, Flirti-Boi grooved his a** to the other side of the club.

Man, did that feel great!

By the end of the evening, I was highly inebriated (as was The Voice) so a member of Entourage A (EA) drove my car while The Voice rode with his other friend. Now, when I get tipsy, I feel the need to confess … and so began an episode of Taxi-Cab Confessions!

Did you really think I was going to tell you knowing full well The Voice reads my blog?! LOL Sorry guys, this one’s staying confidential! However, I said a lot of marvelous things regarding The Voice and trust me, when the time is right, I'll let everyone in on it!

Sunday: After a late night injury (I sprained my thumb and that’s not good when you're a pianist), we tackled our hangovers. The Voice suffered worse than me so it was a particularly quiet day. After a stop at Irie's Restaurant (they offer Jamaican cuisine), we spent the evening at my house. The Voice napped and we watched the season finale of True Blood together. I've got various theories concerning that show but I'll make a special entry for my television shows this upcoming weekend (I've got a LOT of shows on DVR that I need to catch up on).

All in all, it was good weekend, because there wasn't one argument or disagreement between us. Our vibe is cementing and I sense we're quickly reaching that level where only a look encompasses total understanding.

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was spectacular and I’ll see you on Monday! Have a great weekend!

Here I Am ...

Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I've written on my blog!

First and foremost, my apologies to all my followers, readers and commentators. Obviously, school comes first but still, I have to say I missed you guys!

Now, it's been several weeks and a LOT, I mean GAZILLIONS of things have occurred in my life so I'm only going to touch on the most significant items such as school, work, The Voice, friends, family, and ME!

School: We finally passed the mid-term and there’s only a few more weeks to go (thank God!) The intensity in Jazz Band has increased. I've missed a few classes but I’ve managed to persevere. Our group chemistry is coalescing but we've quite a way to go before our final concert. By the way, our public concert is December 9th, at 7:30 PM on campus so just putting that out there! I'm also setting up a link to our band's blog page.

The Ear Training / Music Theory classes are becoming a bit more difficult. I mainly want to get to the next level, weed out the non-music majors and get into the serious business! BTW, I played in front of the class and everyone loved it; seemed to make a few more friends on campus and whether I like it or not, I've created a reputation.

My Haydn piece is coming along positively nicely and Professor Hand Killer has given me a new classical piece (Schubert) to work on. I'm extremely saturated with music this semester. Sometimes I think I hate music ...

Work: I finally got a job! I'm going to be working for Quest Diagnostics, Inc. and my hours will be 6 PM until 2 AM. I know, I know, I'll probably be a “dead brotha walking” by 2009 but so are the sacrifices I must make. It's a full-time position, with great benefits and the pay is MUCH better than my old job. I'm relieved to have a job now so I can return to the doctor, buy what I want and need (i.e. iPhone, clothes, laptop, etc.), and get Christmas presents for everyone! I'll let you know more after orientation next week ...

The Voice: Well, well, well ... what can I say? This man has made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. He has my highs, my lows, my ups, my downs, my heart, my soul, my mind and my ear. When he's away, his absence is nearly unbearable. My weekends have been exceedingly busy and a constant whirlwind of poetry clubs, dance clubs, meeting his friends, shopping, dining out and simply hanging out. We recently passed our two month anniversary this past Thursday and what a crazy two months it has been! I possess three teddy bears, roses (he surprised me the other day at Outback), and a ton of memories. I feel as though I’ve known him my entire life!

For his birthday weekend, I checked him into the Hilton at Logan Airport, left two roses on the bed, champagne chilling on ice, a box of honey roasted cashews (yeah, he has strange tastes) and treated him like royalty. I purchased tickets to see Roy Hargrove at Scullers Jazz Club. Overall, each weekend becomes better than the last ...

Consequently, there is so much I've omitted on account of length (I could drone on and on for pages) but trust me y'all, he's captured my heart unlike any other man! BTW, my parents and friends have approved! Furthermore, there is more I'd like to discuss about The Voice but we'll save that for another post ...

Friends: Thai Guy has been going through some difficult times so I ask you all to keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

The Divo is nearing the end of his collegiate journey and I'm soooo very proud of him!

I'm contemplating one last attempt to reach out to D.G. I really miss her friendship. I know I'm stubborn (as a mule) but I also don't want 10 years of friendship to be dismissed just because of some stupid a** s***! I'll put up a post about her and you guys let me know what I should do ... okay?

Family: My cousin, The Black Elephant, has been added to my blog so check his page out when you get a moment! Yes, he's a Republican but if you are mature enough to remain open-minded, you'll find he's quite engaging!

Pops was in the hospital a few weeks back but he’s doing much better now. He's home and driving us all up a wall.

Rugrat got a job at Home Depot so I don't see much of him these days. He and The Voice have an ongoing rivarly (harmless banter) but it's resulted in Rugrat dubbing him the Predator (so named for his dread locks similar to the beasty from the movie). I suppose this means Rugrat approves.

And last but not least ...

ME: The most important aspect of this blog (that's a fact!) I'm down to 189 pounds and The Voice has encouraged me to return to the gym.

I ordered a laptop this week. I should have it next week and maybe I'll be able to keep up with my blog while at school or during my breaks at work.

I was in a car accident on Monday (there goes my spotless driving record!) however, I'm doing okay. This foreigner (I'll be P.C.) decided to stop upon merging with traffic. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop but the vehicle behind me rear-ended mine. When we all got out to exchange papers, the foreigner took off. One of the girls in the truck behind me managed to get his license plate number but the state trooper told us he wasn't able to get anything on this guy. Oh well, I guess I'll sit back and watch my premiums go up! Oh yeah, my baby is fine, a few scratches to the bumper but that's about it. The other SUV? Lost a headlight and the hood was all jacked up. It seems Ford Escape's plastic bumpers are tougher than they look!

I visited the Fund today with The Voice as a way to close that chapter of my life; I'm ready to move on to Quest. I'm a bit apprehensive about the new job but I'm sure I'll be all right. I'm excited about juggling a full-time job and school as well as dating (I see our bond growing more profound and solid every week). I feel more mature as the days pass but still can't shake those misgivings I've spoken about in my past postings regarding the direction of my life ...

:: sigh ::

We'll see what happens as I take it one day at a time ... have a good weekend everyone! :o)

Movie Night

So did everyone enjoy their weekend? (yeah, I know, I’m late!)

I relaxed a bit and (of course) got to know The Voice better ...

Friday: I went out with a few friends while The Voice went out to a club/party with his friends. It was nice to hang since I don't want to neglect my good friends, plus I needed a break from The Voice. We went to the Cheesecake Factory on Wednesday night and I gave him a ride home on Thursday night. After I got home, I worked on a song (while tipsy) I wrote several years ago titled September Love and got a few more lines written. I reckon I'll be 82 years old by the time I finish composing this song!

Saturday: I had the laziest morning possible. Spent the afternoon / evening with The Voice at the gym (see previous post). Oh yeah, I got my first ever parking ticket! Damn! I know I'm experiencing a lot of "firsts" with The Voice but c'mon, I wasn't hoping that would be one of them.

We decided to have movie night at his crib so ordered food from Texas Roadhouse (he was feening for some more catfish!) and then went to Blockbuster. We rented The Lost Boys: The Tribe, Meet The Browns, First Sunday and Vantage Point. Needless to say, The Voice slept through most of them (mmmm-hmmmmm!). We swooped up our food, then bedded down for the night. His roommates were out so we had the place to our self. We watched the movies while we chowed down and let me tell you, after an eight mile run, that steak was food sent from heaven!

First Sunday: Didn't care for it, wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. It had a nifty message but was still corny as hell. I'm also not a Tracy Morgan fan and Katt Williams was beginning to annoy me!

Vantage Point: LOVED IT! I got sucked right into it and had my eyes glued to the TV until the end! The Voice? Slept through it.

The Lost Boys: The Tribe: I'm not a fan of horror flicks but I make the exception for vampire movies (I’ve seen all the great ones) so we watched half later that night and then the rest the next morning. I'm ambivalent about this one. I thought the vamp make up towards the end was a blatant rip-off from Angel and Buffy (I'm a hardcore fan) and the storyline was very uninspiring. It was like spring break with vamps. In essence, thongs, boobs and fangs.

I haven't seen Meet The Browns so I'll probably check it out then next time I'm over his place.

Sunday: We lay in bed most of the morning talking about all sorts of stuff until I had to leave for my second job. When I returned, The Voice was in the process of dressing for the arts festival we were going to attend. However, we ran late and truthfully didn't feel up to it. So we lay in bed (again) watching Primeval and True Blood while enjoying our remaining time together.

Later that evening, my family and I went to Smokey Bones to celebrate both my Pop's birthday and mine (the same day). Once again, I stepped out my element and ordered baby back ribs and enjoyed each and every one! On the way back, I stopped by The Voice's place to pick up something I had left and then stayed up chatting with Java-Mama until 1 AM.

Monday: Dragging, dragging, dragging! I hope Tuesday is better (it was). Had a pop quiz (ugh!) and while I got an A on the test from Friday, I wasn't prepared for this one. I need to buckle down more (I'll talk about school more in another post). Moreover, I start a campus job / work study next week so I know I'm going to really feel it!

Have a great week everyone!

My Birthday (Part 3)

At 1 AM, I hopped in my car and cruised around. I called a friend and vented and he gave me some really good advice. You see, I'm not an outgoing person and I was concerned The Voice got the wrong impression after the party last weekend. The Voice called me a few times concerned and I returned around 2 AM after everyone was gone. I didn't want to bring up my "baggage" but he was insistent that I tell him what was going on.

I confessed and he reassured me that he likes me the way I am, whether I'm outgoing or not (duh! obviously he does or else he wouldn’t still be chilling with me!) He held my face in his hands and told me that I need to stop worrying about every little thing, stop analyzing everything and simply live in the moment. He emphasized self reliance and plain, simple fun.

"You're not the only one out there with issues and insecurities," he reassured me.

We lay on the bed and as he held me, he recited one of his poems, which assisted in lifting my spirits. Needless to say, he worked his thing too well and this led to other "things." Consequently, I promised him I wouldn't just up and leave like that again.

While I was profoundly disappointed in my actions, I discovered that The Voice is a communicative person, willing to work through an issue. The fact that he's still interested in me after my little stunt says a lot about his character (and patience). Most guys would have said "peace out, yo!" Still, I'm slightly intimidated by his social skills. As I stated in a post back in June (click here), I'm extremely shy, quiet and introverted. I'm not as adaptable as he is with any situation but I can hold my own.

Furthermore, he owes no allegiance to anyone but himself and I'm in awe of his free spirit and independence. Conversely, I've forgotten how to have fun. I used to just roll with the flow but the years have made me bitter, serious and cynical. I find myself overly conservative when it comes to just letting loose. Perhaps The Voice and I are beneficial for each other. His personality is presently affecting me, inducing me to step out of my routine and while I don't want to change him, who knows? Maybe he's getting something from me ...

Well let me wrap this three part series up. I awoke early Sunday morning and put my church suit on. I kissed him goodbye and drove out to Framingham for church. I arrived prematurely so I waited in the parking lot, observing the squirrels and birds in an adjacent field.

Suddenly, I decided to have a chat with God. It had been a quick minute (major religious issues here) however, I felt I needed to thank Him for bringing The Voice into my life. I was fairly ashamed by my actions from the previous night. Essentially, I've moaned and groaned over the past several years about how I wanted a boyfriend. I'm finally dating someone who has most of his s*** together, is in school working on his masters, not afraid to show affection in public, has a real job, likes me the way I am (LOL weird indeed!), has a variety of interests, and has his own place (my checklist was nearly complete) ... and what did I do? I found negative flaws and whined like some unappreciative b****. I checked myself accordingly and thanked Him for listening and watching over me and allowing us to be in each other’s lives.

I returned to The Voice’s apartment and found him watching the movie, Enchanted. He was too cute laying there in bed watching a Disney movie, especially after all the bravado and masculinity he exuded the night before. I love it when a guy can tap into their childhood and yet remain mature. Many people define sexy in relation to the body or sexual acts but I'm a fanatic of the intellectual. In my opinion, sexy is the way he taps into his feminine and childhood sides and is still the man in charge, the way he expresses himself lyrically and socially, the way he sleeps, the way he breathes, the way he lives life with love.

That is sexy to me.

He spent Sunday doing laundry and I brought him back to his place and we chilled for a bit. I apologized to his roommates for bouncing the night before (I didn't want to offend them, especially if I'm going to be coming around often) and then we watched some of the VMA's as he drifted off to sleep.

I can't wait until the next time I see him (UPDATE: we’ve chilled several times this week including dinner at the Cheesecake Factory). This past weekend was one of the best birthdays I've EVER had and I can't thank him enough for coming into my life. Whether we end up as friends or more, I'm glad I met The Voice and he's fast become the rock I need during this unstable time in my life. Consequently, I'm hooked and want to learn more about him. I enjoy our vibe and the way he makes me re-examine my soul, my mind, my heart and my life when I'm around him. I have two left feet when it comes to dating (I know I’m not the only one out there!) so I'm moving as slowly and deliberately as possible ...

"Let's see what's out there ... engage!" - Captain Jean-Luc Picard (ST:TNG)

My Birthday (Part 2)

We dined at Texas Roadhouse and after several drinks, The Voice was feeling positively mellow. He buddied up with the waiter which resulted in a conversation about horror movies and psychics.

Don't ask.

He also ran into a former colleague and her boyfriend and we chatted it up for a few.

As we left the restaurant, it began to rain and we had no umbrella. Not a smart idea when you have the remnants of a tropical storm moving into the area. We dashed for the car and dried off as we drove to the gas station, where he even paid for my gas! Talk about the royal treatment on my special day!

So the big event for the evening was (drum roll please! rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat ... ) Cirque Du Soleil! The Voice bought tickets and this was my birthday surprise! My mind was blown! Once again, no one (no one, no one!, sorry got caught up in the song) had EVER done that for me! I'm usually buying concert tickets or suggesting events to attend among my social circle. It was exceedingly refreshing to be treated for once!

We waited in the concession tent as the rain began to pour. I shopped at the gift stations and he bought popcorn and water of which he excessively grumbled about the expensive prices to the cashier.

"Hmm, Strike One!"

Digress with me.

I was reading an astrological relationship compatibility website the other day which stated that Libras and Virgos (The Voice and me respectively) are a mis-matched pairing. Libras are social and outgoing while Virgos are restrained, conservative and exceptionally observant. Furthermore, the site listed ways to impress and lose points with Virgos. The top way to lose points? "Acting loud, vulgar, or rude in public."

The Voice has a ghetto side to him and while I obviously find it attractive, I sometimes perceive it to be a facade. He can be profoundly proper and corporate such as when he struck up a conversation with the lady next to us at the show or with the waiter. However, he was all up in sistah girl's face at the concession stand and I was sightly embarrassed.

Moreover, I became annoyed when he wanted to talk about "certain topics" while we waited to enter the circus. I was raised to take pride in myself and whenever I walk out the house, I never forget that I'm representing more than just myself. I'm the living legacy of my people. I believe in good first impressions even amongst strangers and I instantly recognized this as the first significant difference between our signs. Consequently, I believe things that occur in the bedroom should remain private and didn't necessarily want strangers who were seated around us in close quarters hearing all our business.

So do you guys think I’m being too prudish?

Digression over ...

The show was very thrilling and our seats were perfect! Some of the performers/clowns were mingling around in the audience prior to the show and they even made examples of late-arrivals! The costumes were dazzling and absolutely fabulous! The choreography was impeccable, even when a few pesky raindrops leaked through the tent onto the stage. The storyline was imaginative and made me feel like a kid again! I gazed in wonder at the jugglers, the contortionists, the trapeze artists, the highwire act, tower of chair balancing act and other acrobatic feats that had me gripping The Voice's leg in terror! No worries, he was doing the same too! The ringmaster was hilarious and even picked a few audience volunteers to keep us entertained between sets.

During intermission, he asked, "Do you like your birthday gift, baby?"

"I love it!" I responded and then we kissed.

Yeah, I'm getting the hang of this public display of affection pretty damn quick!

We ran through the rain to the car and it took nearly a half hour to get out of the parking lot. The wind was howling and the fury of the storm was very evident. As we inched our way out of the lot we held hands and stole kisses. We opted out of heading to a club in Back Bay because of the weather and headed back to his place. I was terribly exhausted but was in for a rude surprise when I walked into his apartment.

"Damn ... Strike Two!"

His roommates had a few friends over and they were completely drunk and trashed. I socialized (if you can call it that) for a while but wasn't really in the mood. I wanted to "cuddle" with my boy and instead I got a mini-frat party. Talk about heated. The Voice took a few shots and blended right in with the crowd. So I did what I always do when I'm ticked.

"Slowly, surely, I walk away from" - Jill Scott

I went out to my car and left.

(Sorry guys, I’m slow with these posts but this semester is really kicking my butt! Trying to find time to write stuff and edit so please just bear with a brotha ...)

My Birthday (Part 1)

My birthday was this past Saturday and even the remnants of a hurricane couldn't ruin the most special b-day I've had in a while! To sum up my day in one word, I'd plainly have to say: "divinely dee-licious!"

I spent most of my weekend with The Voice.

I picked him up Friday evening from a nearby friend's house and then we both chilled at his apartment. I met his roommates and was thoroughly impressed! They are a straight couple and so sweet together; they made me feel incredibly welcome. Truthfully, I preferred having the place to ourselves last weekend but even with them around, they were cool and didn’t bother us.

The next day, The Voice entered the Ollie Road Race in South Boston/The Waterfront, a five-mile run to benefit the South Boston Neighborhood House. I got up extremely early, showered and walked to the subway station. By the way, this was my first time on the Silver Line. Essentially it was just a cheap imitation of a real subway line but whatever, it was pretty nice. I arrived at the Bank of America Pavilion and immediately spotted him warming up. He introduced me to a few of his co-workers who instantly took a liking to me. They were doing the two mile walk and after some friendly prodding, I signed up and joined them on the walk.

The ladies asked the "usual suspect" questions (job, school, fun, etc.) and as I found out later, I was stamped "APPROVED!" and ready for packaging. The walk was a great deal of fun however, I was disappointed that the walkers were on the same track as the runners because as the lead runners returned, they nearly knocked this poor old lady walker over and then proceeded to almost get in a fight with her! Profoundly upsetting! Everyone was out there to raise money for a good cause and have fun and yet s*** like that still happened.

I made it back in 30 minutes and waited for The Voice who timed in at about 43 or 44 minutes! He was sweaty and dripping everywhere but I didn't care. I gave him a hug and told him I was exceedingly proud of him and couldn’t wait to see him do his thing in the half-marathon next month. We split after a while and met up with another friend who gave us a ride back to my neighborhood. I felt a bit awkward because I'm not used to "bumming" rides from anyone. He let us off at my barbershop (The Voice goes to the same barbershop! Pretty surreal, eh?) and I went home to relax.

A few hours later, I picked him up from his place and he was rocking it with his black knit dread cap, slim grey jeans, black dress shoes and tight belt buckle under the black polo shirt. As James Earl Hardy would say, he looked "jood!" We jetted over to Texas Roadhouse and he called ahead while we journeyed.

"He's efficient and makes himself useful!" I thought as we cruised down Route 16.

Now children, pay attention because this was my favorite part of my day! As we stood there, waiting to be seated (only a minute wait), he suddenly spun on his heel and turned to face me. He slipped his hand around the small of my back, his fingers gripping me tight and quickly pulled me toward him and kissed me! And no, not some peck on the cheek. I'm talking tongue action people! My heart swooned and froze.

"What are people thinking?" "Is someone going to say something?" "Oh my God! I can't believe he's really doing this right here, right now!" "Damn, that feels real good!"

A million thoughts raced through my head but after he pulled away, I was thoughtless and breathless.

He asked, "Did you like that?" I simply nodded in response.

That is a memory I will never forget. Why? I have always wanted to date someone who is overwhelmingly comfortable with their sexuality and bold enough to evince public displays of affection (PDA). As Alicia Keys would say, "no one, no one, no one!" has EVER, EVER done that! In the past, I've snuck kisses in public or held hands but usually when no one was around or in a secluded area. If someone happened to pass by, I broke it off. Nevertheless, I had to come back to earth because "Red Bull The Voice gives you wings!" and I was soaring somewhere between the stratospheres of infatuation and sprung.

"I don't care what anyone thinks!" he explained later, "I like you and we should have a right to display our feelings just like everyone else does ... I wish someone would say something ... !"

I've always been comfortable with my orientation but never had the opportunity to explore PDA's with any of my past romantic partners; they merely weren't mature emotionally. However, The Voice, who hasn't ceased to amaze me this past week and a half, is unlike anyone I've encountered or dated before.

But the night wasn't over yet and things were about to get a little more interesting.

Come Back To The World (Part 2)

I want somebody to walk up behind me

And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

I want somebody to walk up behind me

And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

If you want to feel me

Better be divine

Bring me water, water for my mind

Give me nothin

Breathe love in my air

Don't abuse me

Cause these herbs are rare

(Erykah Badu - Kiss Me On My Neck [Hesi], Mama’s Gun)

Darkness. Then came The Light.

I felt his body upon mine. His hands roamed freely and affectionately as we succumbed to the intoxication of lust.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

I awoke the next morning, my head throbbing intensely as I slowly realized my surroundings. I stumbled upstairs and found the party guests stirring. I emerged on the deck and joined the others for breakfast and a few mimosas. As I downed my drink, he asked me if I was interested in checking out a poetry slam that night.

"That's wassup!" I replied.

I drove home in silence, allowing the radio to summarize my feelings and crawled into bed to recover from my heathenly hangover and drifted off, smiling slightly in disbelief at the wild night I had.

That night, I picked him up (it turns out he only lived in the next city over, merely two blocks from the beach!) around seven o’clock.

"What in the world are you doing? You don't even know this guy!" I thought, as I pulled up to his house. "It was just a crazy stupid party where you acted a damn fool! Forget him and get back to reality!"

But something was urging me, compelling me, driving and guiding me to ring that bell. He let me up. His roommates were away.

"Nice place!"

"Thanks ... sorry, I'm running late. I'm pretty slow getting ready. I didn't think you'd get here so quickly. Most everyone has trouble finding my place!"

"I always find what I really want!"

I gazed at the tattoos on his back while he dressed. A mere 12 hours earlier, I had explored his slim body but now I was able to really check the bubble him out. His room was small but definitely well furnished. He threw on a tight tee and some skinny jeans and we were ready to bounce.

"Hmm, at least he's got style in the bedroom and on the street."

After a stop at Male #3's house, we finally arrived at the Lizard Lounge in Cambridge. Unfortunately, he was too late to sign up for the slam so we ordered drinks and kicked back and watched the poets. Hold up. Rewind. Brotha paid for my cover charge and a round of drinks.

"Now that's wassup!"

We sat in the dimly lit lounge, candle sconces casting a soft glow on the bohemian scene. The poets rapped, came hard with the knowledge and before long, we were cheering and yelling out in support of our favorites. I had never been to a slam before so I was thoroughly impressed! Later that evening, the featured poet emerged with a backup four piece band as my cousin and the Late Lesbo Crew (LLC) finally rolled through. We crowded around the table, reminiscing about the party and as the poet journeyed through her mind, I journeyed through his soul.

The brotha talked about his love of poetry, his Caribbean ancestry, his graduate studies, his frat, his achievements (he ran the Boston Marathon this year! I'm super jealous!), our past loves, our future plans and as the music played, so did my hand on his leg.

The LLC decided they weren't feeling the poet so we ventured outside, hopped in our cars and the brotha and I followed them to Kelly's on the beach. As we flew through the streets of Somerville, Cambridge and Revere, he recited his poetry, his art. No one had ever done that before and I glimpsed the immense depth of his passion for his craft.

After Kelly's, we ditched the LLC and returned to his place. I yielded to temptation. We slid into his room and instantly I was at ease. I borrowed his lounge pants and shirt and a du-rag and before long we were lying in bed watching horror movies and making out.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

The next morning, we lay in bed, trying to get to know each other better. He recited more of his poetry with Lauryn Hill's The Sweetest Thing playing in the background on his laptop. We talked about our ex's and he admitted his reluctance to enter a relationship but admitted he was feeling me in a myriad of ways.

Parting really is sweet sorrow but I returned later that afternoon and left a bouquet of multi-colored Anastasia chrysanthemums and a card to thank him for the wonderful evening.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

I'm truly feeling this brotha and after the immature guys I've dated the past few months, he is definitely a breath of fresh air. While there are a few things I've omitted from the story, I tried my best to capture his essence and spirit. He's spontaneous, outgoing, educated and has a purity about his soul that words fail to capture. I'm not sprung but I'm getting close to it. School is my anchor but as I discover more about this brotha, I'm glad I attended that party.

"Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" - Sam Witwicky (Transformers)

I confess that most of the men I've dated I originally met online so connecting and socializing with someone while at a party was the confidence booster I needed. He's already planned several dates (we're headed back to the slam championship contest in a few weeks) and he's got something planned for my b-day this weekend.

In closing, one of the poets at the contest stressed "live in the now." I'm not going to become Joan Clayton and obsess over whether this is the "one" or not. I'm not going to worry about what my family or friends think, but live for me and enjoy this moment, wherever it may take me. There is an attraction and I want to explore it further. I can't dwell on tomorrow or fret over my past decisions. Right now, all I want to do is exist in the now time signature.

Darkness. Then came The Light.

Gentleman, I formally present ... The Voice

Come Back To The World (Part 1)

Hey Mr. Carter (Mr. Carter)
Tell me where you been (where you been)
They been asking, they been searching,
They been wondering why

(Lil' Wayne feat. Jay-Z - Mr. Carter, Tha Carter III)

"Haha, you know, I been around the world!" Nah, for real, it's been a crazy, awesome, insane and WICKED week! I took a hiatus from life and I'm back, Mr. Carter is back! Ha!

Okay, our first order of business? My boy, my ace, my dawg, the one and only President Senator Barack Obama! OMG! I know you all weren't sleeping on his acceptance speech last Thursday! The groupies and delegates (you really can't tell them apart anymore) must've cheered about 3 to 4 minutes before he could even get started! On a serious note, the moment delivered chills across my spine and like First Lady O (F.L.O.), I too felt proud to be an American that day! For all the injustices and hardships that my people have endured and experienced throughout the centuries. The lynchings, the beatings, the whippings, the auction blocks, the pain, the torture, the anguish, the suffering and trauma, the dogs, fire hoses, and countless incidents of discrimination and segregation, we have finally made it to the top! Yes, I know, I know ... he's not President yet but damn if he didn't look all presidential standing on that dais! The historical significance of that day was simply overwhelming! My single regret? I wish my grandparents were alive to see how far we’ve come!

Let's see, what is the next bit of business to cover? Ah yes! I lost another few pounds! I'm down to 195 so it's been a total of roughly 10 pounds. There's actually some inspiration behind that but we'll get to that in the following post.

Lastly, I'm done with Twists. We got together this past Saturday afternoon and fooled around but I haven't talked to him since. It's cool. We both got what we wanted and it's time to move on. I wish him only the best.

Now on to what I'm dying to REALLY discuss! Baby-Jay (my wildly juvenile alter ego) decided to come out and play this past weekend and I'm so glad he stopped by! My cousin (read: What Can You Say ... It's Family!) invited me to her girlfriend's house for a cookout/house party on Saturday night. Now, my regular readers, you guys know I'm a homebody, I'm extremely quiet and introverted. I had no one to accompany me. The Divo was in Philly for the weekend with his man so I was trying to make up an excuse. Subsequently, Baby-Jay hopped in the driver's seat and we ended up at the party.

I arrived late and just missed the strippers (they had male and female strippers) but another was due to arrive later. The party was filled with primarily women (a boat-load of lesbians) and merely three guys (myself included). After a few beers and cocktails from the bar, I was feeling NO PAIN! I was spilling drinks, acting wild, yelling loudly, hugged up on a few people and doing s*** I don't ever do!

There was only one other brotha at the party and I was very interested, very horny, very drunk: pick one. He was hanging with this other guy (Male #3) who seemed pretty cozy with him.

"His boyfriend?", I thought.

Male #3 pulled out his phone and announced, "I gotta check in with my husband!"

CHECK ONE: the brotha was single!

While everyone was waiting on the second stripper, more guests and neighbors from across the street arrived and everyone got louder and significantly trashed. Some of the ladies were sharing pics on their cameras and phones showing how the brotha had "turned the stripper out." After this brotha finished with the male stripper, the folding chair was broken!

CHECK TWO: knows how to work it!

The female stripper arrived (no males) so I decided I wanted to stay upstairs on the deck. I obviously had zero interest in seeing the opposite sex.

On the side, I always knew SGL guys were wild at parties but I don't think they have anything on lesbians! They were coaxing these teenage girls across the street to come over and to bring their mom who came over and got just as tore down! When the strip show finished, there was whip cream, bananas and chocolate everywhere! I even ended up with chocolate on my shirt and I didn't even go down to the basement! One word: INSANE!

Well of course the brotha decided he wanted to stay upstairs as well. He came back from the bathroom and finally we were alone on the deck. Somehow we ended up discussing music and I found out he was a big neo-soul and Alicia Keys fan! Soon the conversation progressed to my likes, his dislikes, my goals, his education, our locks, his poetry and before long, I was hooked.

Needless to say, I was far too wasted to drive home and he took my keys from me.

"You're staying here tonight ... with me!" he said.

Somewhere around 3 AM, we both ended up descending the steps to the basement. The red glow from the lights made it look like a brutal sacrifice of a chocolate Easter bunny had taken place! Chocolate was on the steps, the walls, the floor, everywhere!

At this point, everything was spinning and I just wanted to pass out. I hadn't drank this much since my freshman year of college (1999). We opened the futon and I fell on the cushion, eyes closed, ready to drift into blissful sleep. However, a few moments later, the lights went out and I could feel him crawl on the futon next to me, his Timbs dropped heavily to the floor and his hands slid up my chest ...

CHECK THREE!

I'll post the second part tomorrow (first day of classes and got a million things to do. Trust. I won't leave you guys hanging!)

Cameras, Breakups and Independence! Oh My!

Hmmm, let's see. My weekend didn't turn out as expected but I certainly did some soul searching ...

Friday: I came home and enjoyed doing absolutely nothing. The end.

Saturday: I had a doctor's appointment and everything checked out fine. I'm down to 203 (I lost two pounds so I'm feeling motivated!) I had blood extracted and hopefully they'll be able to ascertain whether my cholesterol is normal enough that I can come off these damned pills (I hate pills; I'd rather find natural alternatives). After an especially lengthy wait, I finally met with the dietician. And of course she was as skinny as a broomstick! I was familiar with the general procedure since I took a nutrition course two semesters ago. She examined my weekly meals and snacks and suggested three key modifications.

1. Elimination of excess calories
2. Portion reduction (that will be the hardest obstacle since I love to go back for seconds)
3. Sugar cutbacks (i.e. less juice, no more Honey Nut Cheerios, no jam on toast, etc.)

While we discussed much more, these were the crucial areas we focused on. In preparation for this visit, I altered my diet several weeks ago and she was reasonably satisfied with my food choices. I'm already extremely opposed to fast food and soda so I've got a small advantage. My target weight loss goal is 190 and she said about 2 pounds a week is a good pace. I'll let you know how it proceeds!

Twists still wasn't back from his vacation so I ended up spending another night home.

That night, I received a text from Thai Guy. He said he’s been in Toronto for the past few months and has been doing some personal reflection. He claims to miss our friendship and hopes that “all is forgiven.” I responded with very few words. I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive although grudges are bad for one’s karma. Just ask Sarah Michelle Gellar! What should I do?

Sunday: Following my second job, I returned home and prepared to hang out with Twists. There was a severe lack of communication and I was left feeling a bit pissed off and anti-social. I found out Twists was cruising for guys again. I didn't need anymore hints. He's “just not that into me” and I've decided to drop him. I was a bit upset but thankfully not heartbroken. Furthermore, I've resolved to stop pursuing a relationship as my priority for a while will be school and finding a job. :: sigh :: well, it was fun while it lasted!

Java-Mama had a Mother's Day gift card from Best Buy and took advantage of the tax break weekend. I wasn't in the mood to accompany her but I'm awfully glad I did. It brought me out of that funk. The moral? Shopping with someone else's money is definitely the cure for the breakup blues! She purchased the Nikon Coolpix 8.0 megapixel camera and absolutely loves it! Monkey see, monkey do: I want one now. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks … hint, hint! Wink, wink!

Unfortunately, the weekend was peppered with some tragic news. Last weekend, I mentioned that The Divo's friend was sick and not doing well. Sadly, she passed away early Sunday morning and my deepest sympathies go out to his friend's family and to him. I did not know his friend at all but I know he possesses wonderful memories and she meant more than I can ever know. A new star is definitely shining in the heavens this week.

Lastly, I was still feeling a bit down Sunday evening and Java-Mama and I had a heart to heart regarding independent living (aka moving the hell out!). I was browsing through Deonte' K's blog and noticed a post concerning his move back in June. Needless to say, it got me thinking. Java-Mama knows that I'm unhappy, especially since living at home is a bothersome obstacle while establishing a relationship and social circle. She shared her experiences and insisted that I not hold back out of familial obligation to her and Pops. She suggested using my CD's and other savings and begin searching for my own place.

My perspective? I'm all for it! I'm an introvert and much of that has to do with living at home. My parents are very liberal however, there are still certain restrictions and frustrations that emerge from time to time. Living on my own would allow me to come and go, explore my neighborhood, join organizations, socialize, date freely (among other things!) and experience a sense of responsibility and maturity. I've gradually earned responsibilities throughout the years (e.g. my first car) and now I'm ready to move to the next level (no pun intended). Independence isn't easy. Just ask the French! (okay, that was lame!) The economy isn't great and school is financially draining. Nevertheless, my first priority is securing a job and then determining if this proposal is even financially possible. I love my family undeniably but I believe it's time for me to be on my own. Ideally, I'd prefer to have a boyfriend to move in with, but I’m sort of deficient in that department. However, being truly independent means depending on me, and only me. I'm going to let the vision simmer in my head a while. I'll let you guys know what I decide.

Today: I had a great morning run (3.25 miles) however, Lil' Ronnie was MIA. Where in the hell is my muscle-bound daddy?! That definitely did not start my morning off right! ha ha! Additionally, it seems that Aunt Thomasina is out again this week which is fine by me! Between her absence and the bright sunshine (evil can’t exist in sunlight!), my last week is off to a great start! Have a good week everyone!