Thursday, November 13, 2008

Never Felt This Way

So, I've finally admitted it to myself ... I'm falling hard and fast for The Voice!

For those readers who are unaware, I met a distinguished man who I've dubbed The Voice at a Labor Day weekend party and we've been seeing each other incessantly throughout the past two and a half months (but who's counting?!) And what a journey these past two and a half months have been!

The Voice is unlike anyone I've dated due in part to his tremendous maturity. After all this time, he continues to grow more thoughtful and caring with each passing day and has me considering the future in unexpected ways.

To recap, he treated me to Cirque du Soleil for my birthday. I returned the favor and set up a weekend filled with Cheesecake Factory, the Hilton, and a jazz club for his post-natal day. Aside from special events, I typically enjoy the trivial things he does on a day to day basis.

For example, spending a weekend helping his best friend's mother move or doing laundry together on Election Night (we were horsing around while doing it but who cares). I've been accepted among his intimate circle of friends such to the point that he and I are taking his friends’ daughters to see How The Grinch Stole Christmas: The Musical next month.

I’ve spent my weekends going out to eat, watching him get a tattoo (none for me thanks!), going to birthday parties or just chilling at his crib with his roommates.

Each weekend results in a total adventure and makes the separation a bit more unbearable.

And now for the great segue ...

(drum roll please ... )

I am not thrilled about our regular partings and this has led to several arguments concerning his new job. He assumed a managerial position at a non-profit group that requires him to travel weekly on flights out of state. Furthermore, starting in January, he's considered remaining away for several months since the travel is extremely taxing. When he accepted the position, I was elated for him and didn't have much say concerning his life however, he's repeatedly stressed that I've become an important factor in his life. Unfortunately, this led to a series of rolling arguments that progressed over the last two weekends.

No worries, we've patched things up, and we're working hard to start a relationship. This concept is new to both of us (we’ve both only dated guys for a few months at a time). Moreover, The Voice has me thinking about moving out. I'm at his house nearly every weekend; I'm beginning to feel like a visitor in my own home!

Nevertheless, that nagging inner worry-wart has me wondering if I'm truly ready for this. I've prayed for someone to come into my life and while it wasn't necessarily the most ideal time, I'm opening up daily to the idea of a true and honest relationship. Still, I'm afraid of my past self. I fear my previous mistakes and the infatuation that saturated my common sense. Everyone on both sides believes we're a excellent match yet I can't help but speculate.

I can be exceptionally immature at times. I have copped attitudes and had to check myself when I became too "snippy" toward him. We're learning how to communicate with each other as well as adapt, adjust, and accommodate our ways. We've been on this earth nearly 30 years apiece and it's not easy to go from

"I don't need anyone, I can do this myself!"


"I'm in a relationship, and I need to respect and consider my partner."

I don't expect I'll get this overnight. I'm incredibly intellectual and extremely passionate and empathetic with a enormous penchant for romance. I know I can do this! Furthermore, this “wonderful-ness” is facilitated by The Voice who has fast become my rock and truly my better half. When I'm frustrated or down, he is there. And when he gets very bossy and stubborn, I have checked him and kept him grounded.

So, I’m going to give it a shot; I think it’ll work.

Scratch that.

I know we’ll succeed!


Cash S. said...'re moving with him to Philly?

fuzzy said...

You said you were opening up to the idea of a relationship. What had your mind closed?

K.C. said...

@ Fuzzy: Bag Lady, you gon' miss your bus, you can't hurry up, cuz you got too much stuff ...

I let all the baggage weigh me down and now I'm learning to let it go and trust.

@ Cash: HECK NO! LOL I'm in school and there's no way in the world I could do that; so I guess it'll be a semi-long distance relationship (sigh) :o(