I Gotta Man ...

I haven't prepared a weekend update in a minute. However, it was an excellent weekend so I felt compelled to write about it.

Friday: After work, I arrived at The Voice’s apartment sometime around 3 AM. I hadn't seen my baby all week (he was out of town on business) so I was more than anxious to be in his company. As Akon states in his newest single, "I miss you much!"

Saturday: We spent the majority of the morning in bed, relaxing and catching up while he twisted his locks. Soon after, we made our debut as a couple at the barbershop (ironically, we went to the same barber for years and never encountered one another!) Later, we stopped by Qdoba's for some grub and then went our separate ways. The Voice returned to NH with his friends to obtain an additional tattoo.

Later that evening, we met at an event in Woburn that screamed "King of the Hill" all over it! His friend's friend's rock band was performing at a VFW post and we (four of us) were the only African-American's in the joint ... not that I have a problem with it. However, once the white folk started country dancing while intoxicated (they can't really dance when they're sober either!), we were all set.

Our diminutive entourage journeyed to the Roxy and got our drink and dance on. I hadn't been out in a while and was really looking forward to this. Furthermore, I had never been to the Roxy so I found the evening quite fascinating. The club is a renovated ballroom featuring a massive dance floor, high ceilings, and an enormous bar which dominates the rear of the club. The combination of flashing lights, strobes, colors, and the primped up boys transported me into an episode of Queer As Folk (Think: Babylon).

After swallowing a few more drinks, I was ready to f*** get into the groove. While The Voice and his friend roamed the hall, I danced with their other mutual friend until they returned. Subsequently, we danced together for a while until another entourage merged with ours. One guy from Entourage B (EB) broke rank, stepped to me and introduced himself as politely as possible above the blaring music. He flashed a flirtatious smile and endeavored to dance with me. I was instantly thrilled (I've never actually been hit on while at a club) but I possessed the one previously deficient factor while at a club: a man.

It was time to pull out my ace and fold.

While dancing, I worked my way over to The Voice and slipped my hands around his slim waist, grabbing him closely from behind. Our hips were in synchronous motion, my lips brushing the hairs on his neck and we embraced tightly. The music, our lust, the heat, our passion and connection drove me to kiss him. Needless to say, Flirti-Boi grooved his a** to the other side of the club.

Man, did that feel great!

By the end of the evening, I was highly inebriated (as was The Voice) so a member of Entourage A (EA) drove my car while The Voice rode with his other friend. Now, when I get tipsy, I feel the need to confess … and so began an episode of Taxi-Cab Confessions!

Did you really think I was going to tell you knowing full well The Voice reads my blog?! LOL Sorry guys, this one’s staying confidential! However, I said a lot of marvelous things regarding The Voice and trust me, when the time is right, I'll let everyone in on it!

Sunday: After a late night injury (I sprained my thumb and that’s not good when you're a pianist), we tackled our hangovers. The Voice suffered worse than me so it was a particularly quiet day. After a stop at Irie's Restaurant (they offer Jamaican cuisine), we spent the evening at my house. The Voice napped and we watched the season finale of True Blood together. I've got various theories concerning that show but I'll make a special entry for my television shows this upcoming weekend (I've got a LOT of shows on DVR that I need to catch up on).

All in all, it was good weekend, because there wasn't one argument or disagreement between us. Our vibe is cementing and I sense we're quickly reaching that level where only a look encompasses total understanding.

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was spectacular and I’ll see you on Monday! Have a great weekend!

Halo

Last night, The Voice shared this song with me from the new Beyonce album. While he explained that the lyrics describe exactly how he's feeling about me, ironically, I'm feeling the same thing regarding him. I couldn't find this track on Playlist.com so I just posted a YouTube slideshow instead.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

Simply Fierce!

This is exclusively for The Voice! It's growing on me baby ...

Have a wonderful weekend everybody! :o)

Beyonce - Single Ladies (New) [HQ]
Uploaded by wonderful-life1989

Give Thanks

For the past few weeks I've been moping about, always concerned with what I don't have. I scrutinize other individuals and think, "wow, they've got the best job in the world!" or "why is it taking me so long to get my degree?" I study their clothes, cars, homes, affluence, vacations and conjecture deeply what went wrong with me.

Well, the Thanksgiving spirit has descended upon me and I'm removing my green contact lenses permanently. I'm continuously moaning and groaning about how busy I am or how time consuming my education and job are. I continually grumble about the late hours I'm working and the homework. Furthermore, I've even managed to find fault with my boyfriend.

I've decided to shut that personality component down for good.

While I'm pursuing my dream, I’ve become exceedingly blinded by greed and envy and lost sight of my blessings. For the longest time, I desired a boyfriend and God sent down The Voice. He is truly "heaven sent" and is helping to improve me with each passing day.

I quit my former occupation so I could achieve this degree. Music is life, it’s my passion. It consumes my soul and embraces my imagination. I am closer to God when I play the piano. There are a billion people in the world who would give anything to be in my shoes, chasing their long-lost dreams yet I am still discontented.

Consequently, I'm revealing to the world that I am incredibly thankful for the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I possess a loving family, a compassionate, magnificent boyfriend and a job that pays well with great benefits. I'm in school, virtually a year from graduation and retain respectable friends who unfailingly have my back. I've a car, I’m not in substantial debt, I'm healthy, I'm skilled in art and music and most of all, simply blessed. There are much worse positions that I could be in.

I will no longer be concerned with how much wealth a person boasts or what fashions or gadgets they own. I'm going to "do me" and focus on my happiness. The Voice is infatuated with a song from T.I. called "Live Your Life" and even set it as his ringtone (I'm basically ready to smash his phone!) In the opening of the song, T.I. exclaims,

"… stop being concerned about what you don't got and be thankful for the things you do got"

Furthermore, part of the chorus says, "live your life, no telling where it will take you." I'm positioned on a monumental opportunity and it's time I started "living my life like it's golden."

Ultimately, I'm doing what I want to do and there are so many exhilarating opportunities waiting for me in the future. I may not become a great performer or a powerful record exec, but at least I know I'm living passionately. Toward the end of my life I will be able to say,

"I did it my way and had so much fun along the journey!"

With Thanksgiving approaching, who or what are YOU most thankful for?

I Did It!

I want to let everyone know that I successfully passed the Writing Proficiency Requirement! I didn't have much doubt (I know that sounds cocky) but nearly all of the term papers I submitted were highly graded. Additionally, I have an exceptional comprehension of the English language (i.e. grammar, spelling).

Here is some background info about the WPE. It can be completed in two formats. The first selection allows you take a timed essay exam. The second option calls for a portfolio consisting of previous term papers from particular courses. I preferred the portfolio and submitted papers from my former Cross-Cultural Psychology, Western Civilization, Art survey and Introduction to Philosophy courses. Furthermore, I was required to write a new essay based on several readings.

The topic of these readings?

"Should the war on drugs end?"

I argued against the decriminalization of drugs however, I did support improved rehabilitation programs and allocation of resources in other areas instead of fighting a failing war (i.e. “the war on terror”).

Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp ...

I wrote the 5 page paper within two days and procrastinated to the Nth degree. Moreover, I was screwed by a former professor who I sought after for certification on one of my essays. She never got back to me. Unfortunately, I mailed the paper to her home address and now I'll probably never see it again. While I wasn’t fond of her class, I still received an A. So what do I care?! Nevertheless, I dislike when an individual proclaims their assistance and never follows through. Sure, I’m guilty of it from time to time, but I strive particularly hard to "do unto others as I'd have them do unto me." Consequently, it didn’t say much for her teaching ethics.

The WPE is a requirement of all UMass Boston students regardless of their declared major. If a student does not pass the WPE, they can be suspended from the university and must enroll in a remedial English course. Thankfully, I will never experience those consequences.

The next significant hurdle I must complete is Quantitative Reasoning (essentially a math or statistics course). I'm taking Psychology 270: Statistics next semester which will satisfy my QR as well as my last Math requirement. After that, I will be finished with all my general education requirements and can focus 100 percent on my major!

All I Want For Christmas ...

My family celebrates an annual tradition where we exchange Christmas wish lists in order to facilitate our retail experiences. However, we haven't really begun this tradition due in part to our struggling financial burdens. Rugrat began a new job only a few months ago while I left The Fund to pursue my degree full-time. Nevertheless, we're determined to observe some type of Christmas even if we only trade two or three presents per person. Honestly, I take pleasure in the holidays (especially Thanksgiving) with my family and have come to appreciate the years we’ve spent together. Moreover, that's a divine blessing than most families receive.

Consequently, I've begun planning what Christmas gifts to buy for my family, The Voice and his closest friends as well as my few friends and extended family.

So, does anyone have suggestions for a first Christmas gift for my boyfriend? I've never sustained a boyfriend during the holidays and I genuinely want to give from my heart. I'm usually romantic but I'm running on mental empty (I'm typing this post during my break period at work ... so it's about 1 AM on a Saturday morning … you try focusing!).

For my own list, I'm thinking about books (Star Trek, black gay fiction ... the wish list is on Amazon), DVD's (Noah's Arc, Star Trek TNG Series), an iPhone, gift cards to shop for clothes as well as a digital music composition program. Additionally, posters, CD's and some new workout gear would be nice too. I'm definitely NOT in the Christmas spirit yet. I know it probably has something to do with Thanksgiving not having occurred yet.

Nevertheless, I think I've received just about everything I want for Christmas encompassed in The Voice. I've heard people say that all the time but for real y'all, he's got me wanting for nothing.

So what do you want for Christmas? What are you getting for your friends/family/significant others?

That Hump

I thought I was strong, however I nearly lost it all yesterday.

School.

My boyfriend.

Work.

Sanity.

All my "baffle them with your bull**** " finally caught up to me yesterday during jazz band rehearsal.

Java-Mama has repeatedly expressed concern that I was allocating far too much time toward The Voice. Naturally, I objected. Nevertheless, she was right (as mother’s usually are). I don't spend enough time practicing and let me tell you, when you're a music major, practicing consumes your life, your soul, your heart, your all.

However, I didn't heed the musicians credo and paid the ultimate penalty.

The professor for jazz band (aka Professor X) subtly stressed that the band is "only as strong as it's weakest link." Now, I'm a man who admits to his mistakes and endures the consequences. Whether they involve torture, pain, or simply a fine or bad grade, I'll own up to my faults. Naturally, I admitted to both Professor X and Hand Killer that I haven't been practicing like I should.

Professor X said, "the next five rehearsals are extremely crucial for our final concert and if you don't have your solos and parts down now, you'll be sitting on stage either jamming or looking like a fool."

Honestly, I'm extremely competitive and self-conscious when it comes to my talent. I‘ve been playing organ since I was six and self-taught myself piano around the age of nine just by watching the church musicians. I've performed at hundreds of functions throughout my life so stage fright isn’t an issue. I've become very confident in my skills throughout the years.

Consequently, I've also become incredibly self-critical and sensitive to errors when I perform. I was extremely embarassed when put on blast in front of the band however, I have no one to blame but myself. Simply put, I didn't practice so I got mud thrown in my face.

Amalgamate this incident with a few less significant frustrations throughout the day and thus a recipe for K.C's World Famous Pity Parties resulted. I considered giving up school, my job (I'm still adjusting) and even splitting with my boyfriend. Of course, I wouldn't really have given up all those things, especially The Voice, but when I feel my back is against the wall, I revert to my immature personality.

Fortunately, Java-Mama talked with me (via our crappy AT&T phones) and suggested a solution.

Get organized!

Duh!

Now, I'm intelligent. I've a 3.7 GPA, I've received copious awards, been accepted into several honors societies and excelled at nearly every occupation I've had, yet this thought never actually crossed my mind. She proposed drafting a weekly schedule and distributing my time more sensibly. Obviously, that is challenging when you're exceedingly infatuated with someone and crave the maximum time feasible with him. Our weekends are often spontaneous and impulsive and numerous modifications occur in our pre-determined agenda.

Furthermore, my frustrations derive from my indecisive post-collegiate career plans. However, we've got time to discuss that issue in profundity on another post.

The point I'm making is that I need to get organized. I ought to really arrange my time more prudently. I've never retained a full-time job while attending school full-time all while building a relationship. Additionally, I enjoy being busy. While these responsibilities give me a significant sense of maturity, juggling my time is more arduous than I anticpated. I can no longer practice at the last minute and I can no longer skimp on sleep for work.

The Voice sent me a text message earlier saying that perhaps he “need(s) to back off” and let me focus on school. My response? "No, that's not what I want; I simply require allocating my time more sagaciously."

So I'm inquiring among all my fellow bloggers out there:

1. How do you allocate your time and responsibilities?

2. Do you find it easy or hard?

3. Do you have any tips on how to successfully balance the "Big Three" in my life?

If I could get over that hump,
Then maybe I will feel better
Maybe I won't fall
If I could get over that hump,
Then maybe I will ...

(That Hump - Erykah Badu, New Amerykah: Part One 4th World War)

Never Felt This Way

So, I've finally admitted it to myself ... I'm falling hard and fast for The Voice!

For those readers who are unaware, I met a distinguished man who I've dubbed The Voice at a Labor Day weekend party and we've been seeing each other incessantly throughout the past two and a half months (but who's counting?!) And what a journey these past two and a half months have been!

The Voice is unlike anyone I've dated due in part to his tremendous maturity. After all this time, he continues to grow more thoughtful and caring with each passing day and has me considering the future in unexpected ways.

To recap, he treated me to Cirque du Soleil for my birthday. I returned the favor and set up a weekend filled with Cheesecake Factory, the Hilton, and a jazz club for his post-natal day. Aside from special events, I typically enjoy the trivial things he does on a day to day basis.

For example, spending a weekend helping his best friend's mother move or doing laundry together on Election Night (we were horsing around while doing it but who cares). I've been accepted among his intimate circle of friends such to the point that he and I are taking his friends’ daughters to see How The Grinch Stole Christmas: The Musical next month.

I’ve spent my weekends going out to eat, watching him get a tattoo (none for me thanks!), going to birthday parties or just chilling at his crib with his roommates.

Each weekend results in a total adventure and makes the separation a bit more unbearable.

And now for the great segue ...

(drum roll please ... )

I am not thrilled about our regular partings and this has led to several arguments concerning his new job. He assumed a managerial position at a non-profit group that requires him to travel weekly on flights out of state. Furthermore, starting in January, he's considered remaining away for several months since the travel is extremely taxing. When he accepted the position, I was elated for him and didn't have much say concerning his life however, he's repeatedly stressed that I've become an important factor in his life. Unfortunately, this led to a series of rolling arguments that progressed over the last two weekends.

No worries, we've patched things up, and we're working hard to start a relationship. This concept is new to both of us (we’ve both only dated guys for a few months at a time). Moreover, The Voice has me thinking about moving out. I'm at his house nearly every weekend; I'm beginning to feel like a visitor in my own home!

Nevertheless, that nagging inner worry-wart has me wondering if I'm truly ready for this. I've prayed for someone to come into my life and while it wasn't necessarily the most ideal time, I'm opening up daily to the idea of a true and honest relationship. Still, I'm afraid of my past self. I fear my previous mistakes and the infatuation that saturated my common sense. Everyone on both sides believes we're a excellent match yet I can't help but speculate.

I can be exceptionally immature at times. I have copped attitudes and had to check myself when I became too "snippy" toward him. We're learning how to communicate with each other as well as adapt, adjust, and accommodate our ways. We've been on this earth nearly 30 years apiece and it's not easy to go from

"I don't need anyone, I can do this myself!"

to

"I'm in a relationship, and I need to respect and consider my partner."

I don't expect I'll get this overnight. I'm incredibly intellectual and extremely passionate and empathetic with a enormous penchant for romance. I know I can do this! Furthermore, this “wonderful-ness” is facilitated by The Voice who has fast become my rock and truly my better half. When I'm frustrated or down, he is there. And when he gets very bossy and stubborn, I have checked him and kept him grounded.

So, I’m going to give it a shot; I think it’ll work.

Scratch that.

I know we’ll succeed!

Heaven Sent

I swear I feel the spirit everytime you I look at you
Cause I know that God is moving in my life
There's a certain type of healing every time you look at me
And I know the feelings neither wrong nor right

Chorus:
It's very evident that you are heaven sent
It's very evident
It's very evident that you are heaven sent
It's very evident

Looking at the sun is like looking at your face
It blinds me sometimes
Laying on your chest is like being in the council of the angel my God

Chorus

I'm riding with an angel on a wave of love
I'm riding so high, riding with an angel

(Heaven Sent - Donnie, The Colored Section)

100

I finally made it!

When I began this blog several months ago, I never envisioned I would talk to my favorite authors and meet interesting people. Furthermore, I never imagined I would reach 100 posts!

I thought to myself, "I really don't know what I'm going to write about; I don't have a lot on my mind ... "

Since I returned to school, I haven't had the time to keep up with my blog in the manner I'd prefer. However, rest assured, that will change! I finally got my laptop and I'm discovering the joy of wi-fi so I can update my blog from school, at my boyfriend's house, at work or just wherever! Moreover, I purchased a 250 GB portable hard drive which maintains all my personal files from my home computer so hopefully you all will be hearing from me ... a lot!

To My People ...

... WE DID IT!!!!!!!