“I'm in love.”
Regis: “Final answer?”
Me: “Yep, final answer!”
It's been nearly five months since I met The Voice and it's been one crazy ride after another. What started as a chance meeting at a rambunctious party last year has turned into something much more. We have bared our naked souls to one another and even after we’ve locked horns, we simply can't release one another.
In the song True from Brandy, she claims, "I've never been a victim of love before so I'm not sure what I should be looking for ... " She sums up this feeling precisely. I thought I was in love with previous “kats” but now I know I was blind to the truth. I was in love with the idea of being in love. But this feels different. I'm experiencing a romance with The Voice with a little something extra on the side:
The hints have been revealed by his roommates, my parents, and our friends. I've repeatedly heard the question "So, when are you guys going to move in together?" We've spent countless hours lying in bed discussing our future children’s names, who will decorate which room of the apartment and even what next Christmas will be like. The young K.C. lived live for the moment, enjoying his time with whomever showed affection.
I attribute this evolution in attitude to maturity. Both of us are nearing the big 3-0 and most of our friends and family are settled down and starting families. I suppose age really does alter one’s life perspective. Java-Mama and The Divo recently shared their observations of significant change in my personality. They noticed that I'm exceedingly outgoing and confident. Initially, I didn't see these changes however, reflecting on these past months, they're absolutely correct. Last year, I attended social events, parties and clubs and didn’t feel a twinge of anxiety.
The Voice is empowerment.
I'm understanding his moods while he's deciphering my facial expressions. In public, we seem to communicate telepathically and instinctively pull off the "perfect couple" routine. Key gazes across a room, caressing hands, secret smiles all emerge in social settings. Additionally, his friends have entrusted me with driving their vehicles, watching their children, and throughout a medical emergency this past December, they even considered me part of the family.
Furthermore, my family has opened up a lot with The Voice. For example, he decorated our Christmas tree and this past Sunday, was ignored my Java-Mama and me during Desperate Housewives (now if that doesn't indicate you're part of the family, I don't know what does!)
Nevertheless, things aren’t always sunny in our loveworld. Since we’re quite a force together on good days, we become hurricanes during our bad days. Problems arise due to our extremely similar personalities. We’re exceedingly particular about how we want things almost to the point of perfection. And when we argue, neither of us is willing to concede.
Moreover, we’re terribly independent and headstrong. If we desire something, we work hard to achieve it and deny any and all external assistance. This becomes a substantial problem in a relationship as a relationship is dependent upon reliance and support from the significant other (Wow! That sounded like a sentence from a psychology paper!)
While we both have flaws (arrogance, stubbornness, mood swings, etc.), we’re working hard at communication and openness. We discuss nearly every aspect that permeates our relationship and rarely make decisions in our separate personal lives without at least informing the other. Neither of us has ever been involved in a solid, future-building relationship before so this is truly “the blind leading the blind.”
In 2009, I am hoping to move this relationship to a higher level. Many of the mistakes and gaffes that occurred last year will be left behind. The honeymoon phase has ended and the next chapter is beginning. Besides, there’s no doubt that he is committed to me (and vice versa) and now it’s time to make the relationship flow. This year, I want to enjoy “us” just as I did when we first met and yet work diligently to cement what we have. Who knows what this year will encompass but one thing is certain: it will truly enjoyable with The Voice by my side.
So, out with the old and in with the new!
“Baby, this first year is going to be colossal and something you’ll never forget or regret!”